Welcome to Day Two of the Second Round of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions. Last night, the first four of the Smooth 16 found their way to the next round of the Tournament and, after tonight, they will be joined with four others. That being said, let us get started with the first match-up of the night...
3) Agosta vs. 6) Gammy
Previously, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions: Agosta dispatched the lone participant in this year's Tournament that did not hail from the Western hemisphere, when he extinguished 14) Oliver's proverbial flame last week. Meanwhile, Gammy once again KO'ed Gig in the first round, which was, apparently, the result of the last time the two engaged in a head-to-head showdown back in freshmen year of college. Furthermore, Gammy reports having the footage..... of which he hasn't share yet, otherwise you'd be watching it below right now.
This match-up, really, comes down to who wants it more; it's going to be Gammy but let me explain why: like most Packer fans, Agosta seems to have mailed this one in - perhaps figuring he was a lock for being one of the best roommates I've ever had (overall), and, even though he has seemly ignored my gold-mine chemical-based ideas and elected to live in Omaha indefinitely, being one of the more driven and capable people that I know. However, Gammy is no push-over, in this Tournament; probably not even so in real life, due to his low center of gravity; rather, he is a strong defensive opponent that is also well-balanced.... and that, as recent history shows us, is how you beat the Packers. It is no fluke that the Giants went into Lambeau and routed them in the playoffs a couple of years ago; nor was it a fluke that we beat them twice last season (once in a post-season rout, the other a would-be regular season rout, if not for that missed block in the back call on the Packers punt return for a TD that made it a respectable loss). When the Packers play a strong defense and a balanced offense (capable of picking apart their porous secondary and weak defensive front), it turns out that Rodgers has what is chalked up to a "bad game" -- not a systemic concern in their personnel, just a "bad game" that all players are allowed to have from time to time. I have nothing against Rodgers, though.... except his commercials. He needs to watch vintage Peyton Manning commercials to see how it's done. Where was I going with that? Hm... anyway, Gammy is advancing in this contest to the Smooth 16.
1) Maui vs. 8) Wes Wambold
Previously, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions: When this Tournament began, there were three members of the Burtner clan in competition; Maui made it a point to end Ryan Burtner's (presumable) dream of being the Champion of Champions last week, as evidence for the aspirations he has for the Tournament ahead. Meanwhile, Wes handled his business last week by surpassing 9) KDavis in the opening round. Maui, however, is no KDavis and so a greater challenge presents itself to him tonight.
While Wes has been no stranger to voicing his confusion on exactly what is the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions and, presumably, joking about working on his jump shot for this round -- shooting skills have no role in this Tournament, I assure you -- it is highly unlikely that his jump shot could compete with Maui's set-shot. I've played basketball with Maui in the past and he is like the demeanor of the domineering big man in a 5'5" Asian frame: he will set up on the perimeter to take his set shots, but that's all you're going to get out of him.... no rebounds, no general defense, no steals, probably not many assists, and definitely no extra movement. He is a one-trick pony in that regard, but the trick works more often than not. Now, he claims that if spotted a 9 goal lead, that he could beat LeBron James to 10... which, I think the Myth Busters crew would label as "Plausible", but it is really a stretch.... REALLY a stretch. I'm not a gambling man....but I'd probably go all-in on LeBron, solely because of Maui's limitations -- LeBron (one of the premiere defenders in the NBA) only has to defend ONE location. As long as LeBron isn't under the impression that Maui is some cancer-ridden kid and that this is his Wish (thus, likely letting the kid score), I don't think Maui would score one goal before LeBron netted 20. We need to get UP alum and Heat coach, Erik Spoelstra, on the line; see if he can orchestrate something during the off-season. Anyway, I wouldn't put my money on Maui to beat LeBron, but I would wager a small amount on him defeating Wes in this match-up; which would be a wise wager to make, because that is what shall happen.
4) Calley vs. 12) Megan
Previously, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions: Calley advanced to the Thrilled 32 by defeating resident-globetrotter, 13) Mary Catey. Meanwhile, Megan pulled one of the bigger upsets in the first round by eliminating perennial favorite, 5) Sarah SLC Carter -- the runner-up to last year's Champion of Champions, and, I believe, the earliest exit from the Tournament in Sarah's history. Now, Megan has her eager eyes set on knocking out the next in line: 4) Calley CalBrow Ekberg.
Now, this becomes a tough decision as well because both Calley and Megan have been involved/interested in the Tournament thus far -- through "likes", etc. Calley has a bit more experience (being in the Tournament in the past, as well as knowing me better), but Megan has the eagerness to advance in, this, her Tournament debut. And, while I always appreciate the folks who hold interest in the Tournament (it makes it more exciting, I reckon), only one of these two are likely to continue to invest their interests and energies into the 2013 Tournament, and that will be Calley, based upon knowing her better -- even though she didn't opt to go to Stanford's in Lake Oswego the other evening. Disappointed. Anyway, hopefully Megan can bring that same energy to next year's Tournament of Champions.
And now, the Marquee Match-Up for tonight is...
2) Kristen vs. 10) Jess Knister
Previously, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions: Kristen got her Tournament started off by getting past the elusive and dare-I-say-sneaky 15) Janet McElligott. Meanwhile, Jess got into the Thrilled 32 by getting past one of our nation's heroes (in my opinion), 7) Jenne Wagner.
This is the Marquee Match-Up for tonight for a few reasons: both are incredibly awesome and fun people; both I don't see all that often -- Kristen living back in the Bay Area, Jess down in SW Portland, where I seldom go; and both devote Niner fans -- as referenced many times over in this Tournament, thus far, very few people are as good of people as Niner fans. It's just a fact. It would make sense to advance both of them to the Smooth 16 because, as made clear above, both are worthy of the honor. However, only one can advance and I will go with Kristen on this one solely on the grounds that I know Kristen a little bit better from our RA days, and post-RA days, as well as summer volleyball games at the U prior to her moving back to California last year. Jess shows a lot of promise, though, and her energy and excitement could make her a formidable force in the 2014 Tournament of Champions.
And, just like that, we have now identified half of the 2013 Smooth 16 and inch ever closer to the next round of this Tournament of Champions.
-Ryan.
Commissioner
The May Mayhem Tournament of Champions
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