Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Final Countdown / The Championship of Champions - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

What a road it has been.  A journey that started a few weeks ago, with 64 optimistic and excited hopefuls, is now down to the two Conference Champions who have survived battle after battle and find themselves on the verge of securing an honor that only two other people in all of human history have claimed: being crowned the Champion of Champions, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions.  Quite an honor.


We know what they have been through to get to this point, so let us look forward to what awaits them.  But first, to honor America, the alpha and the omega of this Tournament of Champions, the always lovely and incredibly talented; highly honored and awarded; and one of the best-selling singers of our generation:  Faith Hill, singing our National Anthem:



And now, here is what we have at stake this night.  The Champion who walks away tonight as the newly-minted Champion of Champions, in addition to pride, is awarded the following:

Automatic Nomination in the 2014 Ryan Awards, set for July 2014


Meal at Stanford's: The Official Restaurant of Ryan Henley


And, also, a nifty Certificate (if desired)


If Kristen Dutra, the Portland Conference Champion and UP Alum ('07), walks away the 2014 Champion of Champions, then she will be further honored next Thursday evening (likely in absentia) at:



Once again, I encourage all of you Pilots to come on out for this fun event.  And a special thanks to Kyle Bunch - American Family Insurance for generously providing the food and drink for the evening.

Speaking of special thanks, I'd like to thank everyone that has been involved with the Tournament this year, so one last shout out to the many "sponsors" that we've featured this year:

If you are in need or search for a great massage, be sure to look into Palaquin Massage and dear friend, and licensed professional, John Dudzic.  He'll treat you right -- I proudly vouch for him and you should, too.

If you enjoy a good, light-hearted read (ironically, on a subject matter that, if consumed too regularly, could give you a heavier heart), then be sure to check out Andrew Salzman's blog: Fast Food Connoisseur.  He breaks down new developments at many of the chains that we know and may visit, and he can give you the insights and his opinions.

And, of course: My Voice Music.  An organization that I strongly support and encourage you -- if you like the combination of music and helping kids in our local community -- to get involved with.  Be it volunteering some of your time or sending a couple of bucks their way, every little bit helps and it is one of the greater causes that benefits our community.

The aforementioned album is good! It's impressive and inspiring to see and hear what kids are able to make when given the opportunity and the voice to create!

All of that now said, we can continue forth with what we all came here for:   
The Final Countdown of the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions!!!!

For this, the Championship round, each of the respective Conference Champions were given the question of:

"Why should you be the Champion of Champions?"


First, we will hear from Emily Wizola, the 2014 World Conference Champion...




I think I should be crowned Champion of Champions for 2014 because I have battled bravely from a 13 seed start. Hard to believe I even made it past the first round where I was pitted against a woman who sounds as though she can balance it all with work, social activities, and volunteer ventures. Yet somehow my love of Southern rap pushed me through. 

Good thing I took the time as a teenager in Minnesota to walk myself on up to Target and use my allowance money to buy every Hot Boys, Trick Daddy, Big Tymers CD instead of actually doing something productive with my time. It took everything I had not to put Lil Wayne as the best musician of all time...



Yet I used those adolescent years to gain the most important life lessons that have led to me to where I am today. Most of those lessons came from movies that I would watch over and over until I memorized every… single… line…



I may not be the most talented person out there but I do have a lot of heart and intensity.


I tried all sorts of sports - soccer, softball, golf (of course), even fencing and boxing. I never really excelled at any of them but there was no doubt I would be there every day training. I am definitely the champion of “well you tried really hard at least.”



I also may not be the most popular person out there but I do make sure and value my friendships.


Yet friendships don’t put money in my pocket so I take from Friday, “Around here, you go to work or go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. You ain't got nothing on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catching a dog. You gotta worry about a dog catchin yo ass!”



Despite my best attempts, I couldn’t find a clip for this one but that was what led to me to the working path where I ultimately had the chance to meet Ryan at work. Spending my time at a job where I worked non stop. Made me realize it was about time to take on one more life lesson from the 90s. 


No, not two chicks at the same time, but valuing the time when I can do nothing and just relax (while still being able to put food on the table).



Thus to sum it up, you should crown me Champion of Champions because while battling from a 13 seed start, I was able to do it the entire time by sitting back, relaxing, and doing (almost) nothing.


Wow.... with videos provided??  In case that third one doesn't come through, it was the whole scene from "Office Space" when talking about what Peter would do with $1M -- so yeah, that is why Emily referenced the "two chicks at the same time"... or, as she said, not two chicks at the same time.  

Truth - it has been a pretty incredible run for Emily, thus far in the Tournament.  I believe, even, that she is making her Tournament debut this year (again, I don't keep as solid of statistics on the Tournament as I do with the Ryan Awards), and so -- operating under the belief that this is her Tournament debut -- to come in as a 13-seed and march all the way to the Tournament Championship, that, alone, is worthy of Ryan Award consideration.  Even though I don't keep solid statistics, I can assure you that no such feat has ever been accomplished before.  We are seeing history in the making.

I enjoyed Emily's case -- it is sound and also has video accompaniment (which never hurts, since I am definitely one to reference movies, music, and other pop culture quite regularly).  I have no idea how she claims to not be a popular person because she has all of the check-marks one would look for if being popular was the goal; maybe she's down-playing it so as to relate with the "common folk"?  Maybe she is just a liar? We may never know.

It is no mystery that I am fascinated with how the girl from Minnesota got into Southern rap, but I will save that for a podcast episode......that I'll do someday. I'll get around to it eventually.  Growing up, I was huge into the rap scene, but I was mostly East Coast & West Coast... my ventures into Southern rap were more into the bigger names:  Master P, Trick Daddy, Ludacris, Outkast, Juvenile, some Ja Rule... I think he was Southern-based... oh, and Bubba Sparxxx had that one good song that I enjoyed (Timbaland is, essentially, the East Coast Dr. Dre, but without the recognition; Timbaland creates some really good beats).

I can attest to the insane amount of work that Emily and the other care providers put into their jobs, for sure; and it is still one of my greater regrets that I didn't realize how cool Emily was until like a month before she got a new job.  She could have been in our NFL Pick Em League, since she enjoys football, and then there also would have been someone to understand my '90s gangsta rap references; sadly, no one that I work with does.  

Anyway, I enjoyed the response and Kristen has her work cut out for her, for sure.  Hopefully she provided some videos, too, as Emily has raised the bar in the multi-media department.

BUT FIRST, we're going to take a quick break to thank the last of our "sponsors" :

http://fosterfamilycarenetwork.com/images/bg_406t.jpg
The Good People at the Foster Family Care Network want to remind you that there are numerous ways to help support local foster kids!  Whether it be through participating in local drives (coats, shoes, clothes, school supplies), opening your home to a child in need, or even just supporting the organizations -- like the FFCN -- who do incredible work for the estimated 20,000 kids, in Oregon & Washington, who are in foster care.  No help is too small or unappreciated, so do what you can and help make a positive difference in the lives of kids.
I know where I am going to be tomorrow afternoon - I have an appointment to get back to my Don Draper status in the magical chair that they have at Heritage Barbershop.  If you are a gentleman who enjoys a good, affordable cut, with great conversation and masters at their craft, a shot of bourbon (or another beverage of choice), and some place that you know that you can walk out of feeling 10x more confident than when you walked in, then you should also make an appointment at Heritage Barbershop.  They do incredible work -- the best that I have ever seen -- and that is why I endorse them and visit every few weeks.  It's amazing.     Heritage Barbershop : The Official Barbershop of Ryan Henley.


And now, live from Hawaii, we will hear from Kristen Dutra, the 2014 Portland Conference Champion...





"Why should you be the Champion of Champions?"

I should be the Champion of Champions because I'm a Niners fan.  I don't know why, honestly, or how I made it this far.  Probably Emily should win.  I am on vacation in Hawaii, after all.  That's just rude to do during competition.

Well, being a Niners fan is never a bad thing; in fact, Kristen being a Niners fan is the main reason that I was able to meet Jerry Rice that one day in Wilsonville for the Fred Meyer's grand opening.  Truth be told, had I called Kristen that late morning and she said: "Meh, I'm not that big of a fan to go all the way down to Wilsonville", there is a very good chance that I wouldn't have either.  

After all, as much as meeting my heroes is something that I strive for and devote a lot of memory towards, I don't like doing stuff like that by myself.  Especially, when I knew I'd be in line for awhile waiting.  I'm not an excessively social person and so an hour in line would have sucked by myself; and I knew it.  Maybe I would have called up Ty Griffin to go instead? At least he would not have black-listed me forever, haha.  And he takes his black-list seriously, apparently.

So, Kristen being a Niners fan was great!  Plus, before we got to be really competitive again, going to the Chicken for the games was always a great time, too.

Kristen is one of the nicest people ever -- as evidenced by her multiple Most Benevolent considerations that she has earned over the years in the Ryan Awards.  And, she may be right that Emily deserves the win more because Emily came out and played like a champion today; and has battled a much tougher road to get to the championship.

I stop short of applying labels like "rude", though, because Kristen is not at all rude; easily one of the nicest people that I know, a dear friend, and I am excited to see her in a few weeks (like 6 weeks) for the Joe Montana NFL Legends flag football game at Candlestick! It'll be my first ever (former) professional football game, and the first & last one that I will see at Candlestick before it gets demolished in the Fall.  Touring the place with my parents last summer was sweet.  But, I'm inclined to agree with Kristen that, it would appear, that Emily has had the better Tournament and the better presentation for the Championship and so I will go that direction; setting all sorts of records this year, for sure.

####

And there we have it!!!  The 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions is in the books!  I don't have a celebratory picture of Emily to make into a celebration picture (a la Andy Gorder's championship picture last year, with the digital confetti), but that's okay because it is late and I'm getting pretty tired now.  Emily, if you have confetti or some sort of substitute (or just want to pretend), be sure to toss it in the air and celebrate as you've become the Champion of Champions in the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions!!

We'll see if she will be able to defend her title next year (a la Nicole Ison, the only two-time Champion of Champions) or if someone else is able to take her down.  Time will tell.  Speaking of time, the 2014 Ryan Awards are just around the corner!! I'll spend the next few weeks getting together the nominations (if you have some that I have missed, be sure to let me know) and the Awards Ceremony will likely be in early July -- in fact, I'm kind of thinking of having them at the beach house over 4th of July weekend......just tossing it out there as a possibility.  Stay tuned.

 

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Famed Four / Portland Conference Championship - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions


Welcome to

First, let us take a moment to honor America,

Another quick reminder, that tonight -- in just a few short hours -- is the deadline to buy your tickets in advance for the My Voice Music Benefit Concert tomorrow (Friday) night!!



What are the advantages to buying in advance? For one, you get a $5 discount on the ticket price (that's cool); you can bypass the admission line at the door (that's even better); AND it guarantees you admission!! Yeah, this show does sell-out, so you are going to (potentially) look like a fool if you bring your special-lady-friend to try and show her how into music you are and how much like kids.....and then get turned away because you were a schlub and didn't buy tickets in advance.  Women don't like schlubs.  #TheMoreYouKnow

The Portland Conference Championship has a match-up between two highly regarded and big names in 1) Kristen Dutra and 2) Chris Maui Taketa.  Both did not disappoint with their selections, either; pulling out some big names for this round.  Because neither of these men were musicians (in the sense that they were not known for playing any instruments), I will consider them more in the line of "entertainers" -- because they both certainly were that.

First up, Maui will take the stage....



That was a bizarre little song.... anyways, with his selection, Maui goes with....




Michael Jackson: The Greatest Musical Act Ever
The greatest musical act ever has got to be Michael Jackson. More than just a musician, Michael Jackson was one of the greatest entertainers of all time. His career started as the lead singer of the Jackson 5, as a fucking little kid. He was performing before he even learned his multiplication tables. "A B C, easy as one two three. Five times seven, its too hard so don't ask me." 

Maui as Michael Jackson
Then he broke out of the Jackson 5 and went solo. He invented the moonwalk, which drunk white people still try to imitate today. Billie Jean, Beat It, Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Bad, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, Rock With You, the Free Willy song, etc etc. Hits for days.

His music videos were just as amazing. Michael Jackson was to MTV what Michael Jordan was to Nike. Except probably more important. There would be no MTV without Michael Jackson and his music videos. That Bille Jean video, where hes in that suit and the sidewalk tiles light up when he steps on them. Or the Smooth Criminal video, when he wears that pimp ass white suit and does the whole lean thing. In the Bad video he dances in the subway. He brought in previously mentioned Michael Jordan for his Jam video and Magic Johnson for Remember the Time. And then Thriller. That was a mini movie, and it had one of the most famous dance sequences ever. I dressed up as thriller Michael Jackson for Halloween for crying out loud. This guy was a straight up pimp.

He also tried to change the world for the better with songs like Man in the Mirror, Heal the World, Black or White, Earth Song, etc. All of that when not allegedly molesting little kids of course...Moving on now...

He toured all over the world and brought his music to every corner of the world. His concerts were among the biggest ever. There have been movies made about his life and career. Numerous artists have covered his songs. He was the King of Pop.


GREAT pick. Any time that you can be famous enough to be the "King" of something definitely warrants legitimate attention.  Everyone knows Michael Jackson, when he died -- I believe -- that the City of Los Angeles paid for his funeral (which was bizarre...since the guy had money and LA was kind of broke at the time....), and he has continued to influence generations of not only singers but also dancers.  His dancing was INTENSE.

Now, I'm not a dancer (nor do I pretend to be -- sober or intoxicated) but I can respect the talent....oh wait...no, I am a ballroom dancer.  I could have gone pro, too; I was that good.  However, the demands of the professional dance circuit would keep me on the road more than I would have liked, and so it wasn't the right fit for me.  However, because of this background, I further understand the commitment, talent, skill, and dedication that MJ put into his work. 

I saw a documentary about him, once, and say what you will about him being weird (he most certainly was), but the man had an INSANE work ethic.  Sure, he probably was a good dancer just naturally, but you don't revolutionize the craft by just banking on your natural abilities; the documentary was talking about how he would practice routines for hours upon hours -- until he either got it right or his body gave out due to dehydration or fatigue.  THAT. IS. CRAZY.  Granted, when your dad is Joe Jackson and beats the crap out of you when you screw up or get lazy as a kid, I reckon that the insane work ethic just becomes a part of who you are.

He also was one of the first artists (that I can remember, at least) that did branch out into commercials -- namely Pepsi, where he did that one really cool commercial with the kid-who-would-later-be-Carleton-on-the-"Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"....and then, of course, the one Pepsi commercial that caught his head on fire (and, I've read, was the turning point that made him go crazy and get hooked on pills).  Even though, I disagree with Maui's inflated view of importance, music videos had existed before Michael Jackson and, with the dawning of MTV, the music video would have existed and perpetuated with or without him; I don't think that he was that critical in the advent of music videos. 

I'm not going to discuss the "alleged" incidents with kids, I'll let Dave Chappelle handle that....



The only legitimate knocks that I have against Michael Jackson is that for the last 15-20yrs of his life, he wasn't known for his music.  Of his Top 10 most successful songs (according to Billboard), none of them came after 1988.  In fact, from 1990 to his death (2013), he only recorded two #1 hits ("Black or White", 1991, and "You Are Not Alone", 1995).  The rest of his legacy -- post-1980s -- involved bizarre marriages (Lisa-Marie Presley, and that average lady), wearing surgical masks everywhere, naming his kids weird names, and dangling them over balcony rails, and the like.  Just being weird.  So, it could be argued that he is the greatest musical act..... of the 1970s and '80s....because from the '90s to the his death, he wasn't known for his music or entertainment, he was tabloid fodder. 

But, otherwise, a solid choice, for sure.  I can dig it.  And it definitely raises the bar for Kristen.  BUT, before we get to her pick, a quick break to hear from some good people about a fun Happy Hour coming up next week (Thursday night) at Spirit of 77, in inner NE Portland:

You know that you want to....  c'mon down....
 I am exceedingly pleased to report that the U has cruised past the 700-mark in their campaign and are now upping the ante and eying 800!!! One thing that I, personally, like about the University, and fellow Pilots, is the initiative, the drive, and the big goals.  Don't challenge us -- we will prevail.  

I'll do my part in getting past the 800-mark by the end of June -- why? Because, until the end of June, EVERY gift made to the University (towards ANY of its programs/schools) is matched with $100.  Size doesn't matter!! $50 = $150.  $20 = $120.  Hell, even $10 = $110.  Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.




And now, to make her claim for the Portland Conference Championship, the last 1-seed to remain in this year's Tournament, and the Portland Women's Champion:  Kristen Dutra....




A classic rock song for a classic-kind of lady.  Well-played.  And, with her selection, she is going to go with.....



Frank Sinatra : the greatest musician ever.

Ole Blue Eyes was a gangster, an actor, and an amazing vocalist.  When you hear his voice, it feels so familiar and honest.  You can say most people know who he is.  I also think he was an impeccable dresser and a stand-up guy (mostly).  And a member of the Rat Pack.  I can keep going... He is a classic.

Very good pick.  Frankie is an icon, for sure.  While I don't know if he played instruments (I think he did the piano, though), there are no better crooners and very few artists/entertainers with as distinct a voice as his.  You only need to hear a few words from him and you know, right away, that it's Frank Sinatra.  He is definitely a classic and a very worthy adversary for MJ.

A lot of similarities between the two -- just as I ignored MJ's "alleged" incidents with kids, I'll also ignore Frankie's "alleged" connections to the mob.

Frank Sinatra is one of those iconic Americans -- not even just performer or musical act -- he represents a time and place when this glorious country of ours was BUZZING.  The Jazz Era -- simply amazing.  AND because of his connection with jazz, he was able to do it all -- powerful, energetic pieces with a big-band orchestra, or a seductive melody with just a piano and a microphone; often, creating both of those moods in the SAME song.  Example: in "I've Got You Under My Skin", his voice gets powerful as the music builds into the final lines with "...but each time I do, just the thought of youuuu, makes me stop just before I begin..." and then immediately kills the intensity with the soothing "...because I've got youuu under my skin", with the stripped down bass line.  Amazing.

What's further impressive: a good number of his performances were done while smoking and/or being drunk.  Just like mine.

Kristen also brings up his membership in the Rat Pack which, I think, is important to note, as well, as it is not common for musicians or performers in the music industry to cross over into movies -- like legit movies.  Sinatra was not only a singer/performer, but he could act, too.  AND, he was a staple of the famous Friar's Club Roasts that eventually evolved into a practice taken on by Comedy Central, and has brought us some of the most AMAZING comedy, haha. 



I'm a terrible person, but I do enjoy a good roast.  It goes to show that you can be hateful and loving all at the same time.  I just ended up watching Roasts highlights for the past 20-something minutes, so I need to get back on track and make a decision.

Anyway, this is a tough decision to make because, the championship is on the line, for starters, but also because both of these entertainers were great at what they did.  Both are renowned and famous around the world.  Both had their own little indiscretions in their personal lives, but both are also adored and honored by their fans.  This is a great follow-up for the Tom Hanks vs. Denzel Washington match-up because both men excelled at what they did but really had decades of dominance -- MJ owning the '70s and '80s, Frankie owning the Jazz Era of the '30s and '40s.

I'm going to go with Frankie on this one, because it comes down to small intangibles when the match-up is so evenly fought.  While I enjoy MJ and his hits (and there are hits for days), Frankie was no slouch, either, and he was able to master his craft all while getting drunk -- just like me.  My rendition of "Summer Wind" is pretty solid, too, by the way. Perhaps a karaoke machine can be acquired for 4th of July.....ohhhh I am so going to look into this.....it's the only thing that can make that weekend better.  Well, one of a few things that could make that weekend better. 

####

And there we have it!! The Portland Conference Champion is now known! They'll face off against the World Conference Champion, Emily Wizola, on Saturday and one of them will walk away (proverbially) as the 2014 Champion of Champions!!! ...while the other joins the other 63 people that fell just a little short this year.  Stay tuned!!

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Famed Four / World Conference Championship - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions


Welcome to the first day of action of the Famed 4 round of the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions : the World Conference Championship!  At the end of tonight, either Emily or Andrew will continue on their journey towards 

First, let us take a moment to honor America, by the singing of our National Anthem by 5-time Grammy Award-winner and pop super-star, Christina Aguilera:




Another quick reminder, that My Voice Music's Annual Benefit Concert is just days away!  If you'd like to enjoy some great music, spirits, and good people all the while benefiting a great cause in our local community, don't hesitate! Get your tickets today because they online pre-order closes tomorrow (Thursday).





Also, a reminder of the UP Happy Hour event next week -- you definitely want to check that out:


UP Happy Hour at the Spirit of 77, stop on by next Thursday (June 5)

The World Conference Championship has a match-up between two folks who have each had rather impressive runs in this year's Tournament, becoming the first 13-seeds to win Regional Championships:  13) Emily Wizola and 13) Andrew Salzman.

First up, hailing from the Boston but playing from somewhere in China, the 2014 World Men's Regional Champion: Andrew Salzman....



Of course, if given the reigns to decide intro music, I went with Boston for the Boston guy, and what better song than "More Than A Feeling"?? ....and, with his pick, he is going to select....




Van Halen : The Greatest Musical Act

I must admit I was confused by the judging in the last round. Based on previous rounds and your comments on our submissions, I'd assumed that judging was based on the quality of the answer, as opposed to what the answer actually was. Now, of course, I realize that was wrong, which makes this slightly tricky. How am I to guess what you consider to be greatest band ever (or at least a better band than my opponent selects)? And even if I just go on my opinion and hope that's good enough, this is still almost impossible to answer. Pick anything contemporary, and the choice could turn awful by their next album. Choose something older, and it looks cliche. This is a long winded way of saying that my current favorite non-metal/hardcore band that best fits a 'greatest' description is Van Halen. And Van Halen = Diamond Dave, none of that Van Hagar stuff. If I'm going down after this magical run, then so be it. But if this doesn't get your blood going, you're cold blooded.




Van Halen -- great classic pick.  One of the world's most selling bands of all time, an icon of American hair-band rock of the late '70s-'80s, and a true staple of their genre.  Call me a pop devourer, but "Jump" is one of my favorite songs to rock out to.  I don't know a ton of Van Halen songs but "Jump" is a classic. For those of you who remember the Mario Bros. movie from way back when, I remember "Jump" from that soundtrack. 

I can see how the game-play could be confusing, but, in principle, it didn't vary too much.  The first go-around was, undoubtedly, more open-ended -- as there are probably thousands of things that are annoying and many of them universally so; whereas once we got into actors, well, there may not be a "right or wrong" answer, but there certainly are "right-er" answers, haha.  I thought that was more clear than others, perhaps, since the basis of the question was who was the greatest actor ever -- ya know, there is some hierarchy of names that should be at the top.  However, I can be persuaded.

Music aside, my favorite aspect of Van Halen was their pioneering of the rider as part of their contract with the venue that they were performing at.  Contrary to popular belief, the part of the rider about M&M candies was not them being flexing their clout and being colossal jerks, but, rather, was an easy cue -- to them -- on whether or not the other critical aspects of the rider had been fulfilled.  While I've never been to a Van Halen concert, I have heard that they are WILD shows, and so anytime that you have wild performances with the equipment that they have and the energy/electricity that goes into it, there are a lot of safety elements that need to be in place.  Having the ridiculousness of the M&M's sans brown (or only green, I forget) was a clear way for them to know whether or not the other requirements were likely to have been fulfilled.  That's just good sense.

However, contemporary artists have taken the rider and abused it for their own diva needs and wishes.  But, props to Van Halen for doing it for the right reasons.  Getting electrocuted: ain't nobody got time for that.




Good solid pick.  We're going to take a quick break before continuing on with today's action and seeing what the World Women's Champion, Emily Wizola, will counter Van Halen with.  But first a message from some good people:

John Dudzic, LMT - Feeling achy? Tired? Sore or stiff muscles?  John Dudzic is the guy to see.  Not only is he a licensed massage therapist, but he is also a miracle healer.  Check him out at Palaquin Massage!

 And now, to make her claim for the World Conference Championship, the 2014 World Women's Regional Champion:  Emily Wizola... 

 

She should really be rolling in on those dubs.....no chrome on the wheel, she's a grown up for real.... And, with her selection, for the Greatest Musician Ever, she is going to go with.....



Johnny Cash, the Man in Black : The Greatest Musician Ever

I know this is a little risky since you specifically said you are not too big in to country, however I think he spanned many styles and genres over his career. The vulnerability, honesty and grit in his music are undeniable. He was able to captivate audiences across time with just a guitar and raw emotion. Although, I suppose the prisoners at Folsom Prison had no choice but to be a captive audience. He persevered to record music despite serious mental health, physical health, and addiction issues, and he recorded right up until his final days. I would also like to think he would have a sense of humor about himself hanging out and watching Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.

Very good pick.  I probably should have clarified that by not being a big fan of "country" I should gave the qualifier of "contemporary country" -- Johnny Cash is all good in my book.  The thing that is great about Johnny Cash is his versatility and originality.  There is no one else quite like Johnny Cash; and there likely never will be.

In terms of his versatility, I never really knew just how much he could do until he started doing covers of songs from artists of the late 20th century towards the end of his life.  He proved that he was able to do folk and country incredibly well, that he could do gospel, and cross-overs, but when he started covering Depeche Mode and NIN, that was when he took his game to a new level.  And he didn't take crap from anybody.

Another thing that I really like about Johnny Cash is that he gave me a solid example to give when I hate on Trent Reznor and NIN: never has there been a NIN cover song to where someone said that the Trent Reznor rendition was better; that doesn't happen.  He should stick to just writing songs, because, clearly, the content is there for it to be amazing .... but NIN can never get it to that level.  I am a hater.  I like it when people give me a reason to hate on things.

Although, with "Hurt", Johnny Cash straight-up owned it.  It is the perfect "life reflection" song that was made even more powerful because of how it was sung by Johnny Cash and the fact that the man had seen some real struggles in life.  For a dying man, it was the perfect song.

While it's been a good run for Andrew this month, I am going to side with Johnny Cash on this match-up, simply because of what he had accomplished in his career, as well as the depth and diversity of his music.  His covering of more contemporary songs, I feel, goes to show just how wide-ranging he truly was.  It was a good run, though.



####

And there we have it!! The World Conference Champion is set for Saturday and now awaits the winner of the Portland Conference Champion tomorrow night!!  An incredible journey it has been, for sure!  Two days left to go in Tournament action before we crown the 2014 Champion of Champions!

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

Monday, May 26, 2014

The Famed Four / Conference Championships - Schedule - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions



It's been quite the journey thus far but there is still a little bit more to go before one will remain the 2014 Champion of Champions!

Similar to the last round, I am proposing a fill-in-the-blank question to you.  Just as in the prior rounds, there are no requirements or restrictions on content.  Due to the short turnaround for this round, I kept it much simpler to address and went with the musical theme.  The question is:


"________ : The Greatest Band/Musical Act Ever"

We are going to continue to play "Family Feud" rules, here: if you pick a band/musical act that  has already been picked, I'll let you know and you'll need to select a different one.  For convenience, you may consider just sending me your Top 2-3 choices.  So, get your pick in quickly to secure your favored pick.  If you feel the need to make a case for your selection, you are free to do so. 

Keeping in mind, I'm not big into the heavy/death metal bands or country acts, but that, otherwise, my musical library and influences are vast and deep.

ALSO, if you would like to submit your "entrance/theme" music, you are welcome to and I encourage it. I like the theatrics.  Otherwise, I'll probably just give you a song that I think represents you.

Submission will be needed by Wednesday evening 6pm Pacific Time (9pm Eastern), and can be delivered in any method that is most convenient for you -- Facebook message, text, email, whatever.   

Easy enough, right? 

Below is the schedule for the Famed 4 / Conference Championship round of the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions:



Wednesday, May 28:
World Conference Championship


A rather unexpected match-up, for sure. Had people bothered to fill out brackets, I am certain that none of them would have ended up with Emily & Andrew in the Conference Championship.  Past mock brackets that I did, for example, had (usually) Aneel vs. Trent for the championship.  But hey, Emily has played a good Tournament and we'll see if she can keep it going; Andrew will need to up his game, but sometimes you catch the right breaks and can make it happen.  Sticking with the musical-theme, it will be someone's curtain call on Wednesday -- we'll see who is singing last. 
 

Thursday, May 29:
Portland Conference Championship

 

This match-up isn't as surprising, considering that Kristen and Maui are both seasoned veterans in my antics, highly seeded, and that high-seeding speaks volumes considering that they are coming out of the Portland Conference....which is STACKED.  The 32 folks in the Portland Conference -- top-to-bottom -- all had a real shot at making upsets and advancing at just about every turn.  Look no further than 16) Stephen Cannon who defied all history and convention and made a run to the Enduring 8!!  Anyway, most of the mock brackets that I did prior to the Tournament actually did have Maui-Kristen in the Conference Championship, and I'm pleased with their performances thus far.

As a head's up -- with the Tournament Championship next Saturday -- I'll give the Championship Topic tonight to maximize the amount of time that you have from completion of the Conference Championships to get your submission ready for the Championship.  It will be another open-ended question that has no restrictions or requirements in terms of content or medium.

"Why should you be the Champion of Champions?"

And, while I give this topic in advance, the superstitious fan in me urges that you not get ahead of yourself before the Conference Championship, haha.  This is merely just to afford the maximum amount of time for the Conference Champions to put together a champion-worthy response.

There we have it!  Let's get it going!!

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

The Enduring 8 / Regional Championships - Day 2 - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

 
Welcome back to the Enduring 8 round of the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions! Yesterday, we saw Maui put an end to Stephen's incredible run, as well as Emily freeing up the rest of Janelle's vacation time for drinking and sunshine.  Tonight, we will see the finale of the round with the World Men's and Portland Women's Regional Championships.

But first, as always, and especially on today (Memorial Day), we will honor America and the men and women who have fought and died for these great United States, and the freedoms that allow me to spend way too much time doing stuff like this:



Also, another quick reminder of a very special, worthwhile, and FUN event coming up at the end of the week:



If you like good music and good people, all the while benefiting a great organization that does immense good for kids in our community, then you'll want to be sure to get your tickets to this concert.  It'll be a great time!

And now, we will get today's action started, with the World Men's Regional Championship with 7) Boone Diggity Langston vs. 13) Andrew Salzman.

*Warning: Some brief adult language is possible.  Reader discretion is advised*



Andrew, as the challenger, rises to the podium and selects....

 

John Cazale.  Well i had my whole long answer, and then the internet fucking ate it because i cant have nice things.  So here is an abbreviated version because it's late, i'm sick and i have work tomorrow.   

Originally I was going to screw around and pick someone terrible. Nick Cage was the first person that came to mind. However, he was in Con Air, which automatically makes him ineligible for my mockery.  Next up was Eva Mendes, because she is the worst actress I have ever seen. I can't help but laugh when she's onscreen.  (And in a random aside, I, for whatever reason, saw Ghost Rider, starring these two. It was amusing in a terrible way.)
Now, for my actual choice: John Cazale.  Only 5 movies in his career: Godfather 1 and 2, The Conversation, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Deer Hunter. Murderers row. Not a dud there.  His career was unfortunately, cut short, but that's amazing peak, and unlike others, there's nothing he's been in that we like to pretend doesn't exist.

Hell, maybe his special movie karma could have even made the Godfather 3 not terr... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, he's not that good. But unlike others who may go for the jones (Adam Sandler? Paris Hilton?) or serious (Meryl Streep?), I'm taking the guy who flashed across the screen like a comet, then unfortunately vanished.
  #upsetcity   P
lus he's from Boston. 

Interesting pick.  Initially, I thought that you were saying John Caviezel (the guy who played Jesus and now is on that one TV show), and thought that you were pulling a really deep wild card (but then I saw the Godfather movies referenced and so looked into it further).  For those of you not familiar, John Cazale is Fredo from the Godfather movies. 

Honestly, Nicolas Cage is one of my favorite actors, and so I'll detour for one second to talk about him for a second:  he's not a terrible actor, he just screwed out of all of his money and had to take really bad movies (the man has an Oscar, has played a WIDE ARRAY of roles; he can do rom-coms, he can do action, he can do drama, and he naturally brings comedy to everything -- especially when he tries to do a Southern accent....that gradually fades over the course of the movie).  

While it is easy to mock Nic Cage (he has done some pretty bad movies), he also has done some incredibly good ones, too! You mentioned Con Air, but don't sleep on The Rock, Leaving Las Vegas, Face/Off, Kick-Ass, Lord of War, and even the National Treasures are pretty good (for being kid movies).  The man has range. He can do action (Con-Air, Kick-Ass), he can do dramatic (Leaving Las Vegas, his Oscar-winning performance), biopics (Adaptation), family movies (National Treasure, The Croods), romantic comedies (It Could Happen to You, Honeymoon in Vegas, City of Angels), and he also can play a hero and a villian....in the same movie! (Face/Off)  So while he has been in some awful movies -- (side note: if you thought that Ghost Rider was bad, then don't bother with Ghost Rider 2...that movie was unwatchable.  And that is not a label that I apply liberally...that movie was awful.... end side note) -- I will stand by Nic Cage because the man produces when he is called upon.  He is sort of like Scottie Pippen: he can make a good team great, and a bad team "okay"; he raises the caliber of the team.

There is nothing that can brighten a day like a good dose of Cage Rage.  His freak outs are legendary.  So, yeah, Nicolas Cage probably would have garnered a lot of favor from me, haha.  But you are completely right with Eva Mendes.  I don't know if she is the worst actor that I've seen, but her and Kate Hudson both have an uncanny ability to bring the quality of a movie down, and look amazing while doing it.  Same with Jordana Brewster.  I have never seen two actors (Cage and Mendes) have less on-screen chemistry than those two...TWICE. People forget that they were paired prior in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans, and they were equally poorly paired in that one, too.  Nicolas Cage's hilarious Southern accent made up for it, though.

As for your pick, I say that it was a wild card simply because he is truly an obscure pick.  I'm open-minded, though, and so I can see where you are coming from with the pick: he has been in some great movies, and played some big roles in those big movies.  If you were only going to have a handful of movies on your resume, there are probably not a better handful to have.  And, from what I saw on YouTube when trying to research the guy, a lot of undisputed great actors all hailed him and his talent, so I'll go along with it.  We'll see what Boone Diggity picked and see if he can top it.

Boone Diggity now steps to the podium and selects....


Matthew Perry : Greatest Actor Ever. It's Chandler Bing! C'mon!

Interesting pick.  I wouldn't have really thought of him as a notable actor (obviously, he can the comedic role of Chandler Bing in Friends and he was okay in that other movie franchise he was in -- Longest Yard? Whole 9 Yards? -- with Bruce Willis), but I don't know if he has a whole lot else to stand on.  I guess he did another TV show for NBC somewhat recently, but I don't really watch TV anymore, and so I have no idea if it is still on...I'm guessing not, though.

Personally, I would not have used any of my 20 picks on drafting Matthew Perry because he is a rather one-dimensional actor, in my opinion.  And, while I also would not have drafted Fredo with any of my 20 picks, either, I'll go along with the justification that Andrew used -- had he not died at a young age, his trajectory was looking promising....even if he was goofy-looking himself.  Who knows?  Maybe he gets in with the mob movies like Scarface, Goodfellas and Casino? Then maybe parlays those films to be Paulie or one of the other guys in The Sopranos? Then you'd be looking at an iconic guy with an impressive roster of films and TV to have on the resume, for sure.  

While I disagree that Fredo is the greatest actor ever -- I wouldn't even put him probably in the Top 75 (due to such a small line-up of featured work) -- I don't think that Matthew Perry is worthy of consideration either.  And, since it's between these two guys, I'll have to go with the dead guy who was in some iconic roles.  Andrew lucks out and advances to the Famed Four on the pick of an obscure actor, simply because Boone picked an even more unlikely candidate. Incredible!  He'll need to up his game for the Conference Championship, for sure, because Emily is no slouch.

And, quickly, a reminder of the up-coming Happy Hour event at Spirit of 77 on Thursday, June 5th -- 5pm-7pm with food and drink provided by Kyle Bunch of American Family Insurance.

  


And now, to close out the Enduring 8 round, the Portland Women's Regional Championship, represented by the stastistically-toughest match-up, 1) Kristen Dutra vs. 2) Tara Walsh!



Tara, as the slight challenger, is up first and her selection is.....



Meryl Streep. Streep is a goddess amongst us and is the caliber to which all actors - male and female - strive to achieve. Fin.  She has played EVERY character and Greg (Walsh) literally watches Devil Wears Prada when it comes on...plus two words: Sophie's Choice. Dude. I mean COME ON.

That's a good pick. I can't argue with picking Meryl Streep because, while I think she got a late start in movies (spending the first part of her career on stage), she has done some notable movies....even though I haven't seen any of them, I know their names and know that she is one of the most decorated actors of all-time.  I believe, she has more Oscar nominations than anyone else in history (18), so that speaks volumes to her longevity and role selection.

Only knock that I have against Meryl Streep is that she has a lot of nominations, but only 3 wins -- I mean, 3/18 isn't an impressive statistic.  And, for being as adored and respected as she undoubtedly is, it makes me wonder why she hasn't been able to win more.  For example, I don't think that she would get screwed by the Academy, nor can she be that unlucky to be up against a greater nomination 15 out of 18 times.  So that does raise a question in my mind (since I don't have personal experience with her acting, I go by the statistics).

However, she was drafted pretty high (6th overall) with BDub's 3rd round pick in our Actor Draft earlier this year; the first female actor drafted (I later drafted Jodie Foster with my 6th pick / 11th overall).  And, again, across YouTube will show you that she's a favorite of some of the biggest names in all of cinema and entertainment; no argument there.

I'm a little confused about the emphasis on Sophie's Choice, though.... [update: that is one of her movies, not an award (a la the Peoples' Choice Award)].  But, hey, good pick -- I like it and I liked it when BDub drafted her 6th overall.  It was one of BDub's better picks, I think, since he went with Ron Jeremy 3 picks later (12th overall).  Yup...that Ron Jeremy.
Kristen is up now and she picks....



Robin Williams.  He won an Oscar, he can do drama and comedy, and everything in between, and he was Mork.  And he's from SF.

Ohhhh good pick. Unexpected pick but a good one nonetheless.  Unlike Meryl, I have a lot of experience with Robin Williams' work and I think that this is a good match-up.  Robin Williams, in my opinion, doesn't get the respect that he deserves.  While, sure, he is more known for his comedic and zanny roles (Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, Toys, etc.), he can do everything and does every role impressively well.  I can't think of any movie roles that he has taken and just sucked at.  In fact, I don't know of any of his movies (that I've seen) that have been bad.

He's been in some great movies (at least to me), such as Hook, Good Will Hunting, Jack, Death to Smoochy, Patch Adams, What Dreams May Come...and then, of course, you've got Mrs. Doubtfire, Man of the Year, the two Night at the Museum films, and so on.  He has quite the diversity in his roles, and even played a rather chilling villain in 24 Hour Photo.  I do think that if he wasn't perceived more as a clown, he probably could have more awards.  However, I like the work that he does and awards aren't everything.  Look at me: I'm awesome and have only 4 awards to my name.  Awards don't define us -- they just decorate our mantle.

And, props to Kristen for bringing up his TV acting, too.  I had forgotten about his role as Mork from that one TV show (Mork & Mindy?) that, I believe, was a spin-off only because Robin Williams was able to make the character strong enough to take on its own show.

While he went undrafted in our Actor Draft earlier this year, I probably would have used one of my 20 picks to draft him.  In terms of hardware, Meryl does have him beat in Oscars 3-to-1, BUT he's batting .250 at the Oscars...whereas Meryl is batting .017......since I think that Robin Williams can do everything that Meryl Streep can do (maybe a little more), I'm going to side with him on this match-up and advance Kristen to the Famed Four as the Portland Women's Champion.  It's controversial, sure, but I view it as a toss up and am not deterred by controversy.


####

Well, there we have it! The Regional Championships are over and we are now down to the Famed Four in this year's Tournament of Champions!  The Conference Championships will be held on Wednesday & Thursday, then we will close out next Saturday (May 31) with the crowning of the new Champion of Champions!

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions