Salutations Good People,
Welcome to Round One / Day Two of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions. Last night, 8 folks stamped their tickets for the Thrilled 32 (next week) and, now, here come another 8 people to join them on that journey.
I should have spent more time on the schedule because this Day Two schedule is STACKED. All three Walshes in competition today (only two related via marriage); some hard-hitting favorites and big-names such as Gorder, Jennifer Mattson, PJDub, 2012 bracket-buster Cadence Powers, AND then the Walshes, JDavis, El Tigre Jeffcoat, Carly, Jilliann Beck, AND the battle between the G-Unit?!?! A stacked tonight of quality match-ups, ladies and gents. STACKED. That said, let's get this party started....
5) Karen Darr vs. 12) Carly Fuhrman-Rodriguez
Opening up Round One / Day Two is this match-up between Kare and Carly. Karen, who I used to work with and now see at various My Voice Music events and organizational meetings, is one of the hardest working/busiest people that I know. So much so, that reading her signature-well-crafted-weekend-recaps is both fascinating and exhausting... making my weekend life look as dull as possible by comparison (and here I was thinking I had it so good). She is a doer and that is the type of person that everyone should know; it doesn't matter what she is doing or what challenges she is faced with, I don't think I have ever seen her get defeated by anything. She doesn't have time for that. Everyone should be fortunate enough to have such a committed and dependable person in their network of friends; unfortunately, there is just one Karen to go around -- and she is quite busy these days. While the Great One Ian Mouser grabs the headlines and the spotlight (as well as the Ryan Awards - he is the all-time leader in Ryan Award wins, with his 7th garnered last year), I reckon that without Karen, nothing would get done.... or, at least not as effectively and efficiently as she gets things done. She is on her game and that is why I have a great deal of respect and admiration for all that she does and is able to do.
Carly, while I know very little about her doer-status, is one of the more entertaining women that I know. While we disagree on Seattle sports fanfare, like every great world power, we can set our differences aside to focus on shared enemies: namely, the University of Oregon.... and various day-to-day annoyances. Facebook tells me that she is a pharmacist and that is wild. Former roommate, Michael Agosta, is a pharmacist and that academic route looked intense. Based upon that evaluation, I reckon that Carly must also be a doer because no one gets into pharmaceutical practices to spend their time willy-nilly. And, just like everyone should have a doer in their network of friends, one should also always have cool, fun people in their network as well.... even if they are Seahawk fans....and Huskies. I don't hold these affiliations against Carly because, while she should know better, I have great admiration for the merit to be found in loyalty. When the Niners were awful, I didn't bail on them. When the Rockies were terrible, I didn't bail on them. When the Avs are awful, I still haven't bailed on them. And, when the Sonics went away, I didn't bail on them either (they'll be back, and greatness shall come with them). So, really, Carly is the embodiment of what everyone should have in their network of friends: a doer, who is fun, sport-minded (albeit misguided), and loyal to those in life. Ergo, I shall advance Carly into the Thrilled 32.
8) Julian JDavis Davis vs. 9) Mike Walsh
JDavis and Mike Walsh -- this is a good match-up, too. On the one hand, you have JDavis -- one of the coolest people you are likely to ever meet; a great guy with a great sense of humor and personality. Very few people will be faced with the predicament of having a live squirrel trapped in a fireplace, and be 100% on board with acquiring fishing nets and oven mitts and getting the job done. JDavis is one of those guys. We could have just starved the little guy or ended its life in that fireplace but, no, no -- that would be too easy, and people like JDavis don't take the easy way out when there's a job to be done. If I had some clever way of saying: "You can't spell ____ without JDavis" -- then I totally would; however, I don't readily have a word that incorporates all of those letters, and conveys the same awesome impression that JDavis warrants.
Then, on the other hand (the left hand...as I believe Mike is left-handed.....I think), you have one of the greatest people to grace the University of Portland campus -- no doubt. I don't know how many "great people" have set foot on the U of P campus, but I can assure you -- with my renowned reliable confidence -- that none of them have had the impact that Mike has had. As he is preparing to leave the UP campus at the end of the month, it speaks volumes to the commitment and contribution that he has made over his tenure to know that -- at the very best -- the new Director can only achieve on a lateral level. We have reached the plateau, and, for this, I am quite confident. UP is losing a legend but one must leave the narrative in order for the legend to really begin and, I reckon, in a few generations, the name Mike Walsh will ring with an especially legendary chord. In fact, I'll get the legend started right now by advancing Mike to the Thrilled 32. Boom. Done.
1) Tara Walsh vs. 16) Cadence Powers
Last year, Cadence made a huge splash in the Tournament of Champions -- as a 15-seed marching all the way to the Smooth 16 before being halted by eventual runner-up, Sarah Carter. Meanwhile, Tara lasted longer than any of the other #1 seeds, getting knocked out of the Tournament on the fourth day of the Smooth 16.
Anyone who knows me also knows that Tara is one of my very good friends; we go way back to the UP days and the legendary road trip down to the Price is Right (where, while we didn't get to play any of the games, we were directly behind Contestant Row... you saw them bidding, then you saw us in the background. It was awesome). Be it through watching "Arrested Development", "Archer", or enjoying summer cocktails on their patio, it is regularly great times when hanging out over there, as our shared senses of humor always makes for an entertaining time. I am so excited for the return of summer for two reasons: Volleyball at the U... and summer cocktails at the Walsh home. THAT is how awesome hanging out with Tara is.
Cadence, on the other hand, I very seldomly hang out with or have a conversation with. I used to work with her years ago and, since that time, I have mostly just had fleeting "Cadence Sightings" at MVM events or, even more randomly, on opposing MAX trains a couple of years back (when I was heading into downtown for reasons I don't recall, and she was riding out of downtown after finishing class). Cadence made her charge through last year's Tournament because she is a) one of the nicest people that I have met; b) incredibly considerate and kind (based off of her work with kids that I am aware of, and further commitment to support kid-focused organizations, like MVM); and c) she is a stunning beauty (don't judge my motivations). And while absolutely none of that has changed from last year's Tournament to this year's Tournament, when going up against Tara Walsh -- one of my better friends -- I have to side with the frequency and familiarity advantage that Tara holds, and advance her to the Thrilled 32 next week.
4) Greg Walsh vs. 13) Tony El Tigre Jeffcoat Brownen
Greg Walsh aka Greggers, the Patron Saint of June Bugs. Tony Brownen aka El Tigre Jeffcoat..... not sure why... I didn't know him during the origin of the ETJ handle; I was only present for its apparent resurrection. However, I can dig it, so I'll go along with it. In a match-up of Niner Nation vs. Niner Nation, no one is a loser -- both are winners; like Billy Mitchell.
I've known Greg since the Villa days but really got to know him better after he started dating Tara years back; and Greg is a cool guy. It a rare moment when you can be watching TV with two other people, and have a commercial come on that, seemingly, had racial undertones and be able to look around to see if anyone else picked up on it.... and see one of the other people watching giving that same "Did anyone else pick up on that, too?" look. That is Greg. Probably the greatest thing I have ever taken part of with Greg was moving him out of his apartment and discovering we were in a quandary when it came to moving his couch out. It turns out that since he had moved in, the doors had been updated... from, apparently, some discount bunker manufacturer (read: uncannily thick and with severely spring-loaded hinges). After some thought, the only logical option presented itself: We had to push it off the balcony onto the knoll below. And we did. There are only two moments in my life that I wish I had video record of: 1) my unbelievable HORSE short; and 2) us pushing his couch off of a balcony onto the knoll some, probably 25-feet below. Despite neither of us being engineers, I think we did an excellent job in factoring both weight and angle of both the trajectory of the couch as well as the sloping hillside below, and therefore, when we drove the U-Haul around back (as quickly as possible without being suspicious) we only inflicted a very minor divot into the hill. Be impressed. I know that I surely was. I thought for sure that couch was a goner when we sent it sailing off the balcony.
Tony, meanwhile, I have really gotten to know over the past couple of years through our respective citizenship in the Niner Nation. One of the best things about hanging out with Tony is that football season never ends. I reckon that within a few minutes of introductions, we quickly descend into recapping the Super Bowl, or the Draft, or discussing our outlook for the season ahead -- it is awesome. Some may say that it is sad but I say that it is awesome. When something that you love -- be it a person, a game, a dessert, whatever -- goes away or is difficult to watch for most of your adult life, when it returns and makes you happy, you have to go all-in on it. You just have to. Life is short and the things that we love may not come around again, so I celebrate it as often as I possibly can. Good People, like Tony, make such a thing possible, and that is something to always be valued. Yet, because one of the Niner Faithful must depart this Tournament, I will advance Greggers to the Thrilled 32. My God, that flying couch moment was incredible.
7) Mary-Elizabeth Dodson vs. 10) Paige PJDub Willis
In an interesting match-up, Mary vs. PJDub is one of those unexpected battles that no one really knows which way to go. There's no villain or "bad guy" to root against, both of them are quality people that anyone would be hard-pressed to not get along with, I reckon.
My praises for PJDub are nothing new -- as a nurse, I have a great deal of respect for her profession and the sacrifice she goes through in order to make the lives of her patients (some of which, who are reaching the end of their lives) a little bit better. For her presence at Providence alone, I would go to Providence if I felt as though my life was coming to an end -- even though my insurance is through Kaiser (I don't know anyone at Kaiser who I could vouch for; whereas Providence is loaded with people I have a lot of faith and trust in). PJDub and I go way back to the UP days (like so many other folks in this Tournament) and she is the innate kindness and strong will that makes her an exceptional nurse -- as well as just a genuinely great person, in general.
While it has not yet been established whether or not I have ever met Mary before -- it is very possible, considering that my high school was not that big, and we do have some common HS friends, suggestive that there may have been a past introduction -- I got to know Mary largely through the Niner Nation, as well. While PJDub has the nursing license and general disposition to show as evidence for her being a great person, Mary has her collection of Niners gear to offer as evidence -- after all, Niner fans are some of the best people in the world. And while PJDub has the undoubted historical and familiarity advantage (not to mention a swanky nickname that, thankfully, didn't change when she got married), I reckon that I haven't seen her in almost a year... and probably only chatted with her a few times sense; largely on account of her saving the lives of others and welcoming in a new life to the world -- understandably, I take a back seat to such great things... whereas during football season (and up through the Draft) I have exchanged messages with Mary because -- like Tony above -- she enables my football season to never end. And I cannot put a value on such a quality. Especially when she is also incredibly kind and seemingly a lot of fun..... even though I cannot confidently say that I have met her yet, haha. Anyway, I'll be advancing Mary into the Thrilled 32 next week -- Go Niners!
2) Andy Gorder
vs. 15) Pat Holcomb
Gorder. Holcomb. The blond Buddy Holly versus the Great Bearded Wonder. These are two guys who in their own respective ways are some of the funnier people that I know. Holcomb is one of the best folks at the party because in addition to just being a cool guy, he usually has comedic quips and is jovial in his demeanor. I also believe he fancies the Jeremiah Weed bourbon that has become the official bourbon of Ryan Henley, as of late.
Gorder, amazingly, over the years has gone from unnecessary and uninvited nude strolls to the shower, to now being a man responsible for the education of Utah's future as well as a popular and appreciated coach, and, of course, being a new dad. Incredible. Although, few can make such a transition seem so seamless and natural. That is because underneath the humor and awesome-ness is the core frame of a very good person. So, even if his kids have a hard time spelling "Seahawks" (or maybe there is such a thing as a "Seahaws" in Utah; I don't know), at least I know that when he texts me during the middle of the day, that it is during his free period, because when the kids are in class it is time to get their learn on. Well, in addition to when they met Debbie, his students will have another reason to envy their own Mr. G, as he advances to the Thrilled 32.
3) Jennifer Jayhem Mattson vs. 14) Jilliann Beck
I have known Jennifer and Jilliann probably about the same amount of time -- I'd have to give some more thought to the timeline but it is probably quite close. Jennifer and Jilliann also both have been nominated for a Ryan Award in the past (Jennifer winning her '11-'12 nomination), and they both also have a few nods for 2013 consideration thus far. The similarities continue with their similar senses of humor; pleasant demeanor; kindness; and, even to an extent, they sort of look similar.... again, using broad strokes.
Jennifer is one of the few hockey fans that I know here in Portland and so we have made it a ritual pilgrimage to attend the Winterhawks postseason games for the past couple of seasons -- after all, what makes me different from most people in Portland is that I support a franchise that wins -- and in these pilgrimages, there is almost certainly going to be a great story and/or conversation. Jennifer is a traveler with a free-spirit and predominantly positive energy, which always makes for a great story or conversation.
Similarly, Jilliann I met through work a couple of years ago and I have always been struck by her compassion and the care she gives to others. She is a genuinely sweet and kind person, and someone that commands respect, not in a demanding manner but in a reciprocal manner, as respect is something she will give to you. Jilliann's flare resides in her masterhood of the majesty of dance -- of which I can vouch for said masterhood. While I may not be the average dancer (with my intense athletic history and artistic/attention-to-detail background), but I went from never really taking a rhythmic step to being a mere fox-step away from going professional. And I say that only half joking. However, because only one can advance to the Thrilled 32 next week -- and hockey season is still amongst us -- I'll advance Jennifer so as to maintain the peace on the next pilgrimage.
...and, finally, the Day Two
Marquee Match-Up...
6) Chris Gammy Gamenthaler vs. 11) Gig Morris
With respect to Snoop Dogg, and his warning that trouble is a-brewing when Compton and Long Beach get together ("Aint Nuthin' But A G Thang"), no combination is more noteworthy than when Gammy and Gig get together -- G-G-G G-Unit!
Gammy petitioned to have this be a landslide victory for him, considering his stated commitment to playing volleyball this weekend.... even though this showdown is occurring during the week... but I cannot be swayed by petitioning. Gig didn't contact me and try to sway my opinions -- in fact, Gig almost never contacts me.... for anything.... not even to say 'hello'. If I were to give Gammy a landslide victory in this, the first round of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions, it would not be for petitioning or the given blessing to use the Technological Rap Machine for some nifty intro/outro music later down the road, but it would be because I see Gammy a few times a year (at shindigs) whereas -- at best -- I see Gig once a year when he comes to Portland... if he comes to Portland at all. That would be where Gammy's dominance would reside. Actually, I have just made a really good case for why Gammy should win in a landslide decision.... but hold on a second .... Gig is no push over -- that's why his name is short for "Gigantic" (probably one of the funniest things Gig has ever said that was not followed up by his signature "Ha-Ha-Ha" laugh). And, if I recall correctly, the G-Unit did fight once and Gig won that fight, somewhat handedly -- though, further thought may be needed to determine the actual winner (but I'm pretty sure that Gig won). And, yeah, one could say that Gig bailed on all of us and moved to the East Coast -- opting for crappier weather, hurricanes, and the ensuing FEMA relief -- but a lot of the same people could say that Guamie bailed, too; but it worked out for him in the end, I reckon. So, on the one hand, you have both guys really fun to hang out with, but I only see one of them somewhat regularly; and sure, Gammy comes through in the clutch with various shindigs in the neighborhood, and at summer volleyball games -- which Gig does not; and, yes, Gig bailed on us while Gammy stayed true; but in a Tournament of champions, it comes down to who is a winner -- and Gig, in all likelihood, won that fight against Gammy years ago (a rematch that I wouldn't mind seeing... if only we could get it as an under card for Tiso-Guamie II.... if only....), so it would make sense to advance Gig to the Thrilled 32 next week.......except it really doesn't because I made an awesome case for Gammy above. Gammy takes this round and is heading to the Thrilled 32 this week.
And that will conclude Round One / Day Two of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions. Stay tuned for Day Three shenanigans tomorrow evening.
-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions
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