Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Final Countdown / The Championship of Champions - 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions

What a road it has been.  A journey that started a few weeks ago, with 64 optimistic and excited hopefuls, is now down to the two Conference Champions who have survived battle after battle and find themselves on the verge of securing an honor that only two other people in all of human history have claimed: being crowned the Champion of Champions, in the May Mayhem Tournament of Champions.  Quite an honor.


We know what they have been through to get to this point, so let us look forward to what awaits them.  But first, to honor America, the alpha and the omega of this Tournament of Champions, the always lovely and incredibly talented; highly honored and awarded; and one of the best-selling singers of our generation:  Faith Hill, singing our National Anthem:



And now, here is what we have at stake this night.  The Champion who walks away tonight as the newly-minted Champion of Champions, in addition to pride, is awarded the following:

Automatic Nomination in the 2014 Ryan Awards, set for July 2014


Meal at Stanford's: The Official Restaurant of Ryan Henley


And, also, a nifty Certificate (if desired)


If Kristen Dutra, the Portland Conference Champion and UP Alum ('07), walks away the 2014 Champion of Champions, then she will be further honored next Thursday evening (likely in absentia) at:



Once again, I encourage all of you Pilots to come on out for this fun event.  And a special thanks to Kyle Bunch - American Family Insurance for generously providing the food and drink for the evening.

Speaking of special thanks, I'd like to thank everyone that has been involved with the Tournament this year, so one last shout out to the many "sponsors" that we've featured this year:

If you are in need or search for a great massage, be sure to look into Palaquin Massage and dear friend, and licensed professional, John Dudzic.  He'll treat you right -- I proudly vouch for him and you should, too.

If you enjoy a good, light-hearted read (ironically, on a subject matter that, if consumed too regularly, could give you a heavier heart), then be sure to check out Andrew Salzman's blog: Fast Food Connoisseur.  He breaks down new developments at many of the chains that we know and may visit, and he can give you the insights and his opinions.

And, of course: My Voice Music.  An organization that I strongly support and encourage you -- if you like the combination of music and helping kids in our local community -- to get involved with.  Be it volunteering some of your time or sending a couple of bucks their way, every little bit helps and it is one of the greater causes that benefits our community.

The aforementioned album is good! It's impressive and inspiring to see and hear what kids are able to make when given the opportunity and the voice to create!

All of that now said, we can continue forth with what we all came here for:   
The Final Countdown of the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions!!!!

For this, the Championship round, each of the respective Conference Champions were given the question of:

"Why should you be the Champion of Champions?"


First, we will hear from Emily Wizola, the 2014 World Conference Champion...




I think I should be crowned Champion of Champions for 2014 because I have battled bravely from a 13 seed start. Hard to believe I even made it past the first round where I was pitted against a woman who sounds as though she can balance it all with work, social activities, and volunteer ventures. Yet somehow my love of Southern rap pushed me through. 

Good thing I took the time as a teenager in Minnesota to walk myself on up to Target and use my allowance money to buy every Hot Boys, Trick Daddy, Big Tymers CD instead of actually doing something productive with my time. It took everything I had not to put Lil Wayne as the best musician of all time...



Yet I used those adolescent years to gain the most important life lessons that have led to me to where I am today. Most of those lessons came from movies that I would watch over and over until I memorized every… single… line…



I may not be the most talented person out there but I do have a lot of heart and intensity.


I tried all sorts of sports - soccer, softball, golf (of course), even fencing and boxing. I never really excelled at any of them but there was no doubt I would be there every day training. I am definitely the champion of “well you tried really hard at least.”



I also may not be the most popular person out there but I do make sure and value my friendships.


Yet friendships don’t put money in my pocket so I take from Friday, “Around here, you go to work or go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. You ain't got nothing on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catching a dog. You gotta worry about a dog catchin yo ass!”



Despite my best attempts, I couldn’t find a clip for this one but that was what led to me to the working path where I ultimately had the chance to meet Ryan at work. Spending my time at a job where I worked non stop. Made me realize it was about time to take on one more life lesson from the 90s. 


No, not two chicks at the same time, but valuing the time when I can do nothing and just relax (while still being able to put food on the table).



Thus to sum it up, you should crown me Champion of Champions because while battling from a 13 seed start, I was able to do it the entire time by sitting back, relaxing, and doing (almost) nothing.


Wow.... with videos provided??  In case that third one doesn't come through, it was the whole scene from "Office Space" when talking about what Peter would do with $1M -- so yeah, that is why Emily referenced the "two chicks at the same time"... or, as she said, not two chicks at the same time.  

Truth - it has been a pretty incredible run for Emily, thus far in the Tournament.  I believe, even, that she is making her Tournament debut this year (again, I don't keep as solid of statistics on the Tournament as I do with the Ryan Awards), and so -- operating under the belief that this is her Tournament debut -- to come in as a 13-seed and march all the way to the Tournament Championship, that, alone, is worthy of Ryan Award consideration.  Even though I don't keep solid statistics, I can assure you that no such feat has ever been accomplished before.  We are seeing history in the making.

I enjoyed Emily's case -- it is sound and also has video accompaniment (which never hurts, since I am definitely one to reference movies, music, and other pop culture quite regularly).  I have no idea how she claims to not be a popular person because she has all of the check-marks one would look for if being popular was the goal; maybe she's down-playing it so as to relate with the "common folk"?  Maybe she is just a liar? We may never know.

It is no mystery that I am fascinated with how the girl from Minnesota got into Southern rap, but I will save that for a podcast episode......that I'll do someday. I'll get around to it eventually.  Growing up, I was huge into the rap scene, but I was mostly East Coast & West Coast... my ventures into Southern rap were more into the bigger names:  Master P, Trick Daddy, Ludacris, Outkast, Juvenile, some Ja Rule... I think he was Southern-based... oh, and Bubba Sparxxx had that one good song that I enjoyed (Timbaland is, essentially, the East Coast Dr. Dre, but without the recognition; Timbaland creates some really good beats).

I can attest to the insane amount of work that Emily and the other care providers put into their jobs, for sure; and it is still one of my greater regrets that I didn't realize how cool Emily was until like a month before she got a new job.  She could have been in our NFL Pick Em League, since she enjoys football, and then there also would have been someone to understand my '90s gangsta rap references; sadly, no one that I work with does.  

Anyway, I enjoyed the response and Kristen has her work cut out for her, for sure.  Hopefully she provided some videos, too, as Emily has raised the bar in the multi-media department.

BUT FIRST, we're going to take a quick break to thank the last of our "sponsors" :

http://fosterfamilycarenetwork.com/images/bg_406t.jpg
The Good People at the Foster Family Care Network want to remind you that there are numerous ways to help support local foster kids!  Whether it be through participating in local drives (coats, shoes, clothes, school supplies), opening your home to a child in need, or even just supporting the organizations -- like the FFCN -- who do incredible work for the estimated 20,000 kids, in Oregon & Washington, who are in foster care.  No help is too small or unappreciated, so do what you can and help make a positive difference in the lives of kids.
I know where I am going to be tomorrow afternoon - I have an appointment to get back to my Don Draper status in the magical chair that they have at Heritage Barbershop.  If you are a gentleman who enjoys a good, affordable cut, with great conversation and masters at their craft, a shot of bourbon (or another beverage of choice), and some place that you know that you can walk out of feeling 10x more confident than when you walked in, then you should also make an appointment at Heritage Barbershop.  They do incredible work -- the best that I have ever seen -- and that is why I endorse them and visit every few weeks.  It's amazing.     Heritage Barbershop : The Official Barbershop of Ryan Henley.


And now, live from Hawaii, we will hear from Kristen Dutra, the 2014 Portland Conference Champion...





"Why should you be the Champion of Champions?"

I should be the Champion of Champions because I'm a Niners fan.  I don't know why, honestly, or how I made it this far.  Probably Emily should win.  I am on vacation in Hawaii, after all.  That's just rude to do during competition.

Well, being a Niners fan is never a bad thing; in fact, Kristen being a Niners fan is the main reason that I was able to meet Jerry Rice that one day in Wilsonville for the Fred Meyer's grand opening.  Truth be told, had I called Kristen that late morning and she said: "Meh, I'm not that big of a fan to go all the way down to Wilsonville", there is a very good chance that I wouldn't have either.  

After all, as much as meeting my heroes is something that I strive for and devote a lot of memory towards, I don't like doing stuff like that by myself.  Especially, when I knew I'd be in line for awhile waiting.  I'm not an excessively social person and so an hour in line would have sucked by myself; and I knew it.  Maybe I would have called up Ty Griffin to go instead? At least he would not have black-listed me forever, haha.  And he takes his black-list seriously, apparently.

So, Kristen being a Niners fan was great!  Plus, before we got to be really competitive again, going to the Chicken for the games was always a great time, too.

Kristen is one of the nicest people ever -- as evidenced by her multiple Most Benevolent considerations that she has earned over the years in the Ryan Awards.  And, she may be right that Emily deserves the win more because Emily came out and played like a champion today; and has battled a much tougher road to get to the championship.

I stop short of applying labels like "rude", though, because Kristen is not at all rude; easily one of the nicest people that I know, a dear friend, and I am excited to see her in a few weeks (like 6 weeks) for the Joe Montana NFL Legends flag football game at Candlestick! It'll be my first ever (former) professional football game, and the first & last one that I will see at Candlestick before it gets demolished in the Fall.  Touring the place with my parents last summer was sweet.  But, I'm inclined to agree with Kristen that, it would appear, that Emily has had the better Tournament and the better presentation for the Championship and so I will go that direction; setting all sorts of records this year, for sure.

####

And there we have it!!!  The 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions is in the books!  I don't have a celebratory picture of Emily to make into a celebration picture (a la Andy Gorder's championship picture last year, with the digital confetti), but that's okay because it is late and I'm getting pretty tired now.  Emily, if you have confetti or some sort of substitute (or just want to pretend), be sure to toss it in the air and celebrate as you've become the Champion of Champions in the 2014 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions!!

We'll see if she will be able to defend her title next year (a la Nicole Ison, the only two-time Champion of Champions) or if someone else is able to take her down.  Time will tell.  Speaking of time, the 2014 Ryan Awards are just around the corner!! I'll spend the next few weeks getting together the nominations (if you have some that I have missed, be sure to let me know) and the Awards Ceremony will likely be in early July -- in fact, I'm kind of thinking of having them at the beach house over 4th of July weekend......just tossing it out there as a possibility.  Stay tuned.

 

-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions