The 2013 Championship Match: Andy Gorder vs. Aneel Arya : Presented by Maui's World.com

Salutations Good People,

Both of the gentleman on display tonight have done what few have ever done: navigated their way through the bracket of 64 incredibly awesome and highly respected people that I know, to be mere moments away from becoming the esteemed Champion of Champions.

Coincidentally, every Championship has been a same-gender showdown: 2011, featuring Nicole Ison vs. Kristen Dutra; 2012, featuring Nicole Ison vs. Sarah SLC Carter; and now, two guys squaring off for the proverbial crown.  

So, let us meet our Champions: 

Starting with Aneel Arya, the 2013 Right Bracket Champion...

ANEEL ARYA

(intro music: "Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor)

Aneel Arya, after a disappointing defeat in the Thrilled 32 round of last year's Tournament, made a pledge to go all-in for the 2013 Tournament of Champions.  So far, he has fulfilled that pledge.  As a 7-seed, he navigated his way through: Greg Arte; Dana Troy; Chris "Gammy" Gamenthaler; Hookah John Herboth; and Meredith Jaeger to arrive here tonight. Besting the record held for the farthest advancement of a 7-seed that was set last year.....by Andy Gorder... who fell a coin-toss shy of appearing for the Championship.

Aneel is no stranger to adversity or challenges -- both in his personal life (from what I read) as well as in this Tournament -- but he handles himself like a Champion.  



And, now, representing the Left Bracket, champion Andy Gorder...


ANDY GORDER (intro music: "I Don't Want to Grow Up" - The Ramones)

Andy Gorder also came into the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions on a mission.  His exit last year in the Famed Four (after coming so far), on account of a coin toss, would be enough to rally even the least competitive person; but Andy is definitely a competitor -- even though he exhibits this mostly through cross-country running and coaching. As the 7-seed last year, he set the bar for achievement, and came into this Tournament, stronger than before and was able to overcome all of his obstacles to arrive in the Championship tonight.

Andy's road to the Championship, similarly tested, had him travel a road through the likes of: Pat Holcomb; Niner Nation member, Matt Knister; Chris Burtner; Residence Life legend, Mike Walsh; and, ultimately, Calley CalBrow Ekberg - his counter part from the Up Left Region.

  Now, comes the time of this presentation where we take a moment to honor the respective countries represented in the Championship tonight:

To honor Canada (Aneel is Canadian), this YouTube presentation of "O Canada" (that I hope are the right lyrics...it sounds right to me, however, the last time I posted "O Canada", Jessica Hicks (Canadian), commented that the lyrics were wrong):


And, now, to honor America, the always-stunningly-lovely Faith Hill performing the "Star-Spangled Banner" (from Super Bowl XXXIV):



And now, it is go-time!! Let's play some games!!!

ANDY GORDER vs. ANEEL ARYA for the 2013 Champion of Champions! 

Question 1: For Andy
My residence hall, back on the campus of the U (of P), has a legendary fundraiser event-- without argument, the biggest and most successful on campus-- what is its name?

Andy: The Villa Maria Man Auction. (Correct) In my four years at the U, it expanded from St. Mary's Student Center all the way to the Chiles Center (the biggest venue on campus). It was intense and a lot of fun.  Due to our student status, we weren't supposed to work on setting up the event for more than, I believe, 4 hours a day....we agreed with rolled eyes... we were there for most of the day.  How could you not?? R. Ryan Hendricks had more lights and sound equipment than a KISS concert.  Definitely enjoyed jamming on that.  Gorder takes the first question and 1-0 lead.

Question 2: For Andy
My residence hall, back on the campus of the U (of P), has a move-in day tradition featuring an inflatable .....what?

Andy: Gorilla.  (Correct) I don't know when the tradition started but I know it was there my freshman year, and I reckon it still is to this day.  It is a giant inflatable gorilla that is tethered to the roof of the building.  Good times.  With that point, Gorder takes a 2-0 lead.

 Let us pause for just a moment to give thanks to our other "sponsors": 

My Voice Music

  

Question 3: For Aneel
This is a football family, Spaz is no exception-- what is Spaz's favorite NFL team?

Aneel: Seattle Seahawks.  (Incorrect)... Please, I'd disown him if he was a douche-y Seahawks fan, and be disappointed as a father-figure for allowing him to throw away his (fanfare) life.....so the question goes to, coincidentally enough, a Seahawks fan....who has indoctrinated his child into the tradition....... this is now awkward......

Andy: Carolina Panthers (Correct).  Due mostly to his resemblance to the Panther's mascot and the leadership from a strong, black QB (Cam Newton), he declared himself a Panthers fan the season following his birth.  We have a Civil War scheduled for November 10.  Gorder steals the point and takes a commanding 3-0 lead.

Question 4: For Aneel
What year will the first class of the Ryan Awards Hall of Fame be inducted?

Aneel (to stay alive): 2017  (Correct!) The first class of the Ryan Awards Hall of Fame will be inducted in 2017, marking the 10th anniversary of the prestigious Awards.  Aneel is on the board now, trailing 3-1 in the Final.

Question 5: For Aneel
Who were the Original Four Kings of the Castle (N. Portland party house)?

Aneel: Larry, Curly, Moe, Ryan (Incorrect -- well, partially correct, I was one of them).  So the question goes to Andy...

Andy: Dana, Steve, Tim, Ted  (Incorrect).  The Castle (legendary N. Denver house) was first inhabited by the four kings of: Pat Guamie Carayoan; Tim Ace Griffin; the reclusive Ty Griffin; and, yours truly.  No one gets the point, so the score remains the same: 3-1, Gorder lead.

Question 6: For Andy
What is the name of the local Portland doughnut-maker who recently announced an expansion to, of all places, Denver, Colorado?

....for the win or to keep Aneel going in the Tournament......

Andy: Voodoo Doughnuts. (Correct) And, that will do it -- Andy Gorder wins the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions by a final score of 4-1 in the Championship; becoming the first Champion of Champions not named Nicole Ison.  Definitely want to applaud Aneel and all that he has done in this Tournament and the obstacles he has cleared; a stellar performance, indeed.  And while his Tournament aspirations fell a little short this year, there is always next year and, I imagine, he will come back hungrier than ever.

Due to Andy's (as well as Aneel's) geographical distance from Portland, the annual prize of a trip to Stanford's seems unlikely -- until Andy makes a return to Portland, or if I happen to be in Utah and there is a comparable establishment.  For those unfamiliar, the best description one has given of my beloved Stanford's (the Official Restaurant of Ryan Henley), is -- in so many words -- the type of classy establishment you'd find Don Draper in... if Don Draper patroned establishments where smoking was prohibited...and where adults wore jeans (not I, of course, but other patrons do; Portland is a fairly relaxed environment when it comes to attire).  

In the meantime, I'll think of an auxiliary prize instead; perhaps a certificate or trophy that Andy can possess so that his student's will know he is a winner not only in the classroom but also in life. He will be automatically entered into consideration for a 2013 Ryan Award for his winning the 2013 Champion of Champions.

And so, that shall do it.  Congratulations to Andy Gorder!  With the holiday weekend now ahead of us, let the celebrations begin! 

ANDY GORDER

2013 Champion of Champions

Let the confetti fall.

 

And, one last shout out, if you are in the market for purchasing a home in the SE Portland area but have no idea where to start or who to turn to for answers to your questions, why not stop by this upcoming workshop on Saturday, June 8th? You'll get the answers to your questions, come away with knowledge and a great understanding of what you need to do, AND there's a breakfast provided!! What's not to like? Check it out!

-Ryan.
Commissioner
The May Mayhem Tournament of Champions