We are trucking right along through the first round of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions! Half of the Thrilled 32 have already advanced and by the end of this posting, we'll be 3/4 of the way there. That said, let's get it started with...
5) The Great One Ian Mouser vs. 12) Tim Newby
The Great One Ian Mouser and Tim Newby: two righteous dudes who I enjoy their respective companies. They both artistic with the Great One's talent coming through the majesty of song, whereas Tim Newby's talent comes through the brush and paint. Like so many other match-ups in this Tournament, there is not a huge difference between these two guys: we can go ahead and toss out the seeding references because that doesn't come into play, here. The Great One is incredibly driven and committed to My Voice Music and the magical work that they do to really reach kids in our community who are lost, or searching for themselves, or searching for a way to positively convey and share what they have inside their hearts and minds. It is truly magical to see what these kids can do and it is a credit to the Great One (and his staff and volunteers) that they are able to get it done.
Then there is Tim Newby who is a consistent and committed friend to the people in his life. And while I don't think he is involved with kids at all, he shows similar, admirable traits by his willingness to come to the aid of those in his life without hesitation or making it feel as though he is being inconvenienced. There is a real reason why the Ace Man selected him as his best man and it wasn't because he lived downstairs.... that was a mere added bonus and convenience. That said, I reckon that I will advance Tim Newby to the Thrilled 32 because, again, this is a close contest between these two and I feel as though we were lacking in the upset department (if going by the numbers).
8) Kaeleen Hylton vs. 9) Bria Moir
In this first round match-up, Tournament veteran, Kaeleen, matches up against (to the best of my records) Tournament newcomer, Bria. I learned something interesting about Bria earlier today; apparently she has some mechanical familiarity and experience as signified by her revelation: "I took apart and reassembled my VW Cabriolet engine back in [high school]". Which then made me think: "What does Megan Fox have that she doesn't??" And I sought the Internet for this scene from "Transformers" where Megan Fox (whose character was, apparently, the daughter of a 'grease monkey' who taught her about cars) states that she could take the engine apart, clean it up, and put it back together.... but, as the wise Adam Carolla pointed out, her description of the engine is completely wrong.
Now, I'm not much of a car guy (nor do I pretend to be) but Adam Carolla is and he talks about how, apparently, there is no such thing as a high-rise, double-pump carburetor -- that there is a double-pump carburetor on a high-rise manifold, but that's not what she says. Further, he states, that the engine depicted in the scene is actually a cross ram Weber OR an injection made to look like four Webers. Which, while I understand by the further explanation/description, means very, very, very, very little to me. I don't really care.
To get back to my point: Bria is no liar and so if she can take an engine apart and put it back together, what does Megan Fox really have to offer in this role?? I mean this seriously. If the whole point is to be like: "Attractive, young women don't know this stuff, so there's no point in doing a casting call" -- but then it happens and now has me thinking: Why didn't they bother looking?? Making a better product, ya know? Bria can't be -- or maybe she is.... -- the only attractive, young woman in this glorious country of ours (or beyond) who knows about cars (or at least the VW Cabriolet); so now this upsets me. Megan Fox isn't THAT hot -- let's be honest here. Is she attractive? Yes, I think most people would agree. But she isn't exactly a rare beauty. I mean, there's at least one Megan Fox in every major city, who -- with the help of Hollywood -- could be the next Megan Fox.
So, if that is her whole purpose in the movie -- to be hot -- there are at least 20 other known-actresses (who readily come to mind) who can be that character and do an on-par-probably-better job -- clearly, they had that one actress fill in for her in the third movie after Megan didn't want to reprise the role, and I don't think that hurt the movie anymore than it being, essentially, the same movie they had made in 2007 (Note: I didn't watch the sequels and only saw parts of the first one; this is all second-hand information). So, this bothers me. When you're not casting for an Oscar-hopeful performance and are thinking more about the promotional poster and trailer, why not just put some effort into finding someone who can bring at least some knowledge of the topic to the table?? Where's the harm in that?? I can promise you that Bria would have been waaaaaay less expensive on the payroll, too, for doing a better job. That's why I can't make movies, though.... and must resort to complaining about them when they warrant my complaints.
That had nothing really to do with the Tournament, except delay it a little bit. But that's okay -- it had to be said. Anyway, I am advancing Kaeleen to the Thrilled 32 next week because I have known Kaeleen for longer and, while I don't see her often at all anymore (since she moved to Bend), I have hung out with her more so than I have Bria -- who I have only met in person once (at the Earth Day festival over by PSU two years ago). Furthermore, while both are people that I thoroughly respect and admire for their capacity to care and devote their energies to others, Kaeleen is one of the few people who gets incredibly stoked by the Tournament (and my antics in general), and so I'll keep advance her into the Thrilled 32.
1) Chris Maui Taketa vs. 16) Ryan Burtner
While, normally, I can make a compelling case for why the #16 seed can oust the #1 seed -- after all, to be in this Tournament to begin with is a real honor. However, this is a tougher argument for me to make with this particular match-up. With nothing but respect to Ryan Burtner (who, despite others calling him Little Burtner, I will use his name properly), who I met at my brother's wedding in Au----October.....? Yeah, October... as he was the other groomsman, but I've known Maui much longer and much better -- and while Ryan Burtner was a gent and covered a round of drinks at the post-reception after-party in the resort bar, Maui has covered a few of my drinks in the past, as well; so the advantage is nixed. Further, he didn't seem too interested or intrigued by the Tournament, whereas Maui was one of the two people to fill out a bracket -- and, I believe, the only person who has filled out a bracket every year -- and, therefore, has the advantage in that respect, as well. So, while I have a great deal of respect for Ryan Burtner (conveyed by the use of his full name, as I never liked being referred to as "Tyler's brother" despite my independent -- and dare I say "arguably superior" -- personality, I will honor his individualism from Chris by addressing him by his full name; out of respect), it is too much of a stretch to have him eliminate Maui in the first round of the Tournament. Therefore, Maui shall advance to the Thrilled 32 next week.
4) Calley CalBrow Ekberg vs. 13) Mary Catey
CalBrow (the origins of which come from the similarities between her and Sally Brown - Charlie Brown's sister -, but obviously the live-action, adult version; the fact that Sally and Calley rhyme was just the icing on this cake), like a few others in the Tournament, is a multi-Ryan Award winner and one of the most pleasant people that I know. She is genuinely very sweet and kind, and has a passion and commitment towards helping and educating kids that is an evident mark to the type of character that she possesses. And while I don't see CalBrow all that often -- usually fleeting salutations at MVM events -- I cannot recall a single negative memory. So, good times.
Similarly, I haven't seen Mary Catey in quite awhile either -- probably not since I graduated from the U (of P); and since she graduated, I think she's been living all over the place with particular head-scratchers being Antarctica and my hometown of Albuquerque. Although, the last time that I was there, she had frozen her Facebook (or something) and so I wasn't able to contact her while I was in town. Although, I'm not sure if I would have been able to meet up anyways, as I don't typically go outside of a mile radius from my parents' house. And why should I? Within that mile radius, I have everything that I need and that is familiar to me -- the ABQ has changed quite a bit since I left it some 10 years ago. And while Mary Catey has always been pleasant to me, I'll side with CalBrow's slightly higher frequency rating and advance her to the Thrilled 32 next week.
7) Aneel Arya vs. 10) Greg Arte
Before I really settle in to this discussion, I would like to point out the great work that Arte is doing with his school in Brooklyn that is on the verge of closure:
I don't know how you feel about the Jesuit academic tradition, or Brooklyn, or Greg Arte, but if you're inclined to help out the cause -- through contribution or sharing with those you know -- I am certain that it would be greatly appreciated by the teachers, staff, the community, and, of course, the kids as well. There's a lot of good and benefit that comes from organizations like this; it would be a shame to see it go.
That said, Arte and I go back to the UP days where my first real introduction to him was when he spiked my spaghetti with hot sauce -- unprovoked, may I add. I retaliated, though, when he was in a training session (I was cast as the depressed kid he was supposed to be trying to help) and I told the joke: "My life is like a math book...full of problems" -- naturally, he laughed at it, and was -- if only for the next few moments -- branded as "The guy who laughed at the depressed kid". I was pleased. Anyway, once Arte moved to NYC I largely lost touch as Lord knows I've never been to NYC and with his family in Spokane, he was more prone to visit there if he was coming across the country. However, he did visit not too long ago and was even a gent who covered the brunch -- to which I am much obliged and will return to gesture the next time that I see him. It may even be in NYC -- I reckon I should travel there at some point.
Also in the Eastern Time Zone is Aneel, who is a rare minority in the Tournament in respect to being one of, I believe, 2 people that I have never actually met in person. However, his activity and interest in the Tournament of Champions (he was the other bracket submitter aside from Maui) is almost unrivaled. I think he has either "liked" or commented on everything Tournament-related to this point. And while I could speak volumes to what I perceive as his character -- a proud father, hard worker in addition to student -- I'll be advancing him to the Thrilled 32 because of the fanfare of the Tournament.
6) Tricia Weatherly-Troy vs. 11) Natalie Burtner
In another really close contest, Tricia and Natalie are -- in my opinion -- rather similar. Maybe not so much in the ways you'd normally think but Tricia (a great nurse) and Natalie (a great teacher) both exhibit a lot of core character traits that are, in my opinion, rare and admired. While I have known Tricia for longer than Natalie -- having just met Natalie at my brother's wedding, although, I had heard of her from my brother's college stories -- and it is a shame that only one can advance to the next round, because both are really great people who I've enjoyed knowing -- albeit, one much shorter duration than the other. However, Natalie seemed more engaged with this Tournament of Champions (which is a mark of a champion, I reckon) and so I'll do a slight upset and advance her to the Thrilled 32.... as an added bonus, her son looks JUST LIKE THE E-TRADE BABY.... it's uncanny. In what either makes me a terrible parent (or an awesome one... I'll let you decide), I was fully on board with her taking him down to the Vegas Strip wearing the E-Trade Baby clothes, and charging tourists $20 to take a picture with him. He could be pulling down an easy $200 an hour during peak tourist season; easily. I mean, after you've been drinking for most of the day, and just got kicked around at the poker table or the slots or whatever your game of choice, and you're feeling down on yourself.... then you see the E-Trade Baby (or who you believe to be the E-Trade Baby) and you can have your picture with him for just $20??? Yeah, that's a no brainer. I don't think Natalie has done that, though, because she is a better person than I am.
2) Amanda Roo Davis vs. 15) Renee Espinosa
In yet another close contest, Amanda and Renee -- in what may sound like a broken record (more on this in a second) but I swear that it is true -- are quite similar in a lot of ways, too. For one, they both are incredible hostesses -- Amanda's annual Christmas party is such good times that I go to Vancouver for it (a rarity); and Renee is also so very gracious and welcoming when people come over -- very genuinely happy to see those who are in her life, and it is evident and very refreshing. To, briefly, get back to the "broken record" -- I feel as though we need to come up with something more modern for this expression... do records even exist anymore? And, if so, are they ever broken?? I imagine that they have to be worth much more money nowadays than contemporary digital media, so I reckon that they are very well kept and protected, as they are more valuable. Just a thought that came to my mind.
Anyway, I have a great deal of respect and admiration for both Amanda and Renee, because they are both genuinely some of the best people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and the honor of calling my friends. I hope to see them during the summer -- not sure what Amanda is up to with her summer vacation from the kids, but I think Renee (and Alex) were on board with volleyball at the U (of P) this summer, and I hope that they are able to come out for it -- but, regardless, I know that when I see them next, it will be a good time. I will advance Amanda to the the Thrilled 32 next week, because I have known her longer and she set a Ryan Award record for Most Wins in a Single Year (4) largely due to her helping me out when I was in need; much appreciated and a gesture that I will never forget.
...and, finally, the Day Three
Marquee Match-Up...
3) Michael Agosta vs. 14) Oliver O'Callaghan
Now, before you put on your Hater Hats and question why this is the Marquee Match-Up, as it is a #3 vs. #14, and very few of the folks in this Tournament know Agosta (I reckon), and so even fewer know Olie, but the seeding and the relative obscurity is not what makes this the Marquee Match-Up for the night. Rather, what makes it the Marquee Match-Up is because -- as I type away -- I still am not sure who I am going to advance.
I could advance former roommate, Agosta, on account of knowing him for longer and better (although, I don't think I have seen him much since he moved out to Omaha) as well as being the higher seed -- and no one would really question it. I could advance, equally, advance Olie to the Thrilled 32 next week, on account of him being --without doubt-- one of my Top 5 Europeans... arguably, all-time. Sure, I don't know a lot of Europeans but don't let that detail muddy the point -- Olie is a great guy and I thoroughly enjoy his Facebook contributions that I find delightful; even if his involvement in American politics intrigues me, considering I don't bother following what is going on in the UK these days -- although, I hear the Royal Couple is having a kid or recently had a kid... something like that. I don't really understand why there is a Royal Family anymore, though. I'm not too familiar with it but I reckon that their Parliament is where the government power comes from, so why have a family be bestowed with a sweet life for really nothing more than chance -- being either born into the family or marrying one of the descendants. To me, that seems like a lot of cash going to support a tradition that seems outdated nowadays. But, then again, they also drive on the left side of the road, ironically use the metric system instead of the Imperial system they created, and enjoy food that is -- by and large -- disgusting, to me (or, as I joke with my mom when she makes traditional Irish cuisine for St. Patrick's Day -- "No wonder they fled here after the Famine. If I lost the only good thing to eat, and was left with cabbage, I'd take my chances in America, too". The stuff is gross.), so I shouldn't be too surprised by this... and neither should you.
Anyway, not knowing exactly what I should do, I turn to the almighty Quarter Toss: the modern Burning Bush -- as my way to determine the destined decision. Agosta being both the higher seed and higher in the alphabet, will be Heads, and Olie will be Tails. *Flips the Coin* Heads it is. Agosta advances to the Thrilled 32. See? A coin toss. What more can you ask for from a Marquee Match-Up?!?!
And
that will conclude Round One / Day Three of the 2013 May Mayhem
Tournament of Champions. Stay tuned for the finale of the opening round tomorrow
evening.
-Ryan.
Commissioner
May Mayhem Tournament of Champions
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