Slowly but surely, we are making our way to the conclusion of the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions. Tonight, a brief stop with the Famed Four to determine the respective Right and Left Bracket Champions, setting the stage for the 2013 Championship on Friday evening.
2) Andy Gorder vs. 4) Calley CalBrow Ekberg
~ Left Bracket Championship ~
Question 1: For Andy
In 'Drive Angry', Milton (Nic Cage) was able to steal the "God Killer" pistol from Satan, how did he do this?
Andy: As he says in the movie, “I just walked in and took it”. (Correct) A classic Nic Cage under-acting moment. Gorder takes the first question and a 1-0 lead.
Question 2: For Andy
While Spaz's breed is not officially known, what breed did I put down on his paperwork when he had to get neutered? It was the saddest morning of my adult life, for the record.
Andy: I honestly don’t remember this, but from what I remember from my few years of volunteering at the Humane Society while in high school most “street cats” (I vaguely remember hearing about Spaz being abandoned in your care) are typically labeled as Domestic Shorthair and Domestic Longhair which just means a domestic cat of no particular breed / unknown ancestry. With the Tabby coat being so popular among many “breeds” of cat this is a hard one, especially since you said that you were saddened by the decision. If “Seahawk Tabby” was a breed, I could see you weeping for many hours, but in the end I’m going to guess that you filled in the space with “Domestic Shorthair” (Incorrect, although thorough). So the question goes to Calley...The vet wrote American Shorthair (which, I guess, is the go-to for ambiguous breeds) and, due to Spaz being mostly black, and what I believe to be Muslim in faith, I added in the African prefix. Neither win the point and so the score remains 1-0, Gorder lead.
Calley: I remember you posting something but after a very long Facebook search, can't find it. Puma? (Incorrect). The answer I was looking for was African-American Shorthair.
Question 3: For Calley
In ‘Mad Men’, what is Don Draper’s birth name?
Calley: Richard "Dick" Whitman (Correct) It only took her 8 tries, but she finally got one right. ;-) hate, hate, hate, hate... and tied the game up 1-1.
Question 4: For Calley
The character of Jack Ryan has appeared in 4 films, portrayed by what 3 actors?
Calley: Alec Baldwin in The Hunt for Red October, Harrison Ford in Patriot Games and in Clear and Present Danger and Ben Affleck in The Sum of All (Fears). (Correct) Calley on a roll now and gaining a 2-1 lead in the round.
Question 5: For Andy, needing the point to stay alive...
In the ‘Chappelle’s Show’ skit about the Black White Supremacist, how many books has Clayton Bigsby written?
Andy: Clayton Bigsby grew up to be an author of six books about his distaste to non-Caucasian man; four of those books were published. (Correct) Andy also provided the titles for those four books, however, I don't reckon they need to be stated here.
And with that, Andy ties it up 2-2 and we turn to the tie-breaker!!!....
Tie-Breaker: What is my biggest pet peeve?
Interestingly enough, they both gave the same pet peeve ( People who drive slow in the fast lane) -- word for word, the same response. Hmm... an unprecedented event!! This cannot be scripted folks!!! Well, I sent Calley a message to see if she could send over another pet peeve of mine. Since Gorder had submitted his responses nearly 11 hours before, I gave him ownership of the "Slow drivers in the fast lane" pet peeve. We will await what Calley comes up with as an alternative. And Calley selects: "Oh boy...the Portland East Side." Sooo here we go:
Ladies first, of course: This is a good pet peeve of mine. I have no love for the East Side and, while she didn't specify, I will focus on SE Portland for a great deal of my annoyances. Where to start? For one, the roads don't make sense. Granted, there are parts of Portland where the roads get funky -- typically where prior established towns were incorporated as Portland expanded from its original modern-day Downtown origins. But that is not the case with SE Portland. The roads of SE are like someone who had laid out a grid on the ground in sticks and then someone tripped over the sticks: a street will be going, going, going, THEN STOP, only to continue a block over! It makes no sense and is difficult to navigate if you're not familiar with the area. Another thing that I hate about SE Portland (yes, "hate" in the fullest sense of the word) is the essence of SE Portland: there are WAY too many people, too many cyclists, too many cars, and too many buses on a street that was probably designed for mules and horses. What does this mean? It means that it is a hotbed of activity and social venues.......that you have to park A MINIMUM of SIX BLOCKS AWAY from where you are going. OR take your chances and try to parallel park on the INCREDIBLY NARROW street, much to the ire of EVERYONE -- in any and ALL directions -- who is now at a stand still as we wait for you to inch your hybrid this or full-electric that (I don't think SUVs exist in SE Portland... too impractical and I imagine you'd get hissed at) into a spot that, yeah, you could fit your car into except for the small detail known as: OREGONIANS (and Washingtonians) DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!! While I can't blame all of this next one SE Portland, I will complain about their street signs: they are small and damn near IMPOSSIBLE to read while driving (while also having to keep an eye out for pedestrians and cyclists who, for some reason, think that they can survive getting hit by a car... it's weird, I don't get that). I say only partially SE's fault because, with my crappy luck, I'm usually going down there in the dark and when it's raining, so the conditions are never good. Regardless, you can't see any of the street names on the signs (if there happens to be a sign) until you are right up on it and have to make either a very quick turn (that Portland/Vancouver drivers are, by and large, incapable of making....safely) OR you have to re-route yourself along a self-made detour into the world of the side streets where nothing makes sense. It's awesome. It's also probably why traffic is usually very slow because the people driving in SE Portland don't live in SE Portland (like myself) and, thus, have no idea where they are going -- they just know that it is going to suck getting there, and hopefully it isn't raining hard, because you'll be walking a half mile to where ever you are going. I also don't understand (and, to some degree, do not endorse) the "Keep Portland Weird" movement -- it's never been explained to me (its origin or purpose) -- but whatever the "weird" thing they are referring to, it is likely found in SE Portland. Oh, Darth Vader riding a unicycle while playing the bag pipe? That's not North Portland. I can promise you that. A Darth Vader mask makes you an easy target because it wipes out your peripheral vision, and is largely impractical.
And then there are people who drive slow in the fast lane. This is multi-faceted, actually: 1) there are the people who drive slow in the fast lane, and then 2) the people who drive slow in general. In regards to these people, those who drive slow in general, regardless of the lane, what's their deal? Are they trying to lay low because of some outstanding warrants? Are they just learning how to drive and thus are skittish? Do they actually believe that the speed limit is what it says and that the LIMIT to one's speed is 40mph even though modern cars can be driven, safely, one-handed, at speeds up to 80 MILES AN HOUR!?!?!?! Do they have no where better to be in life than driving around town? No job? No kids/family? No wife/girlfriend/mistress/husband/fling awaiting them at the end of their journey? Why the lack of interest in getting to where they are going? AND if they're not going anywhere, THEN WHY DRIVE AROUND DURING RUSH HOURS?!?!?! You're just getting in the way of people who DO have places to go, people to see, lives to live. When time is the most valuable resource we have in life, WHY ARE YOU WASTING IT BY DRIVING SLOW??? C'MON! And then you have the people who apparently did NOT get the memo about the right lane/left lane designation -- a memo that, I was under the impression, was unanimously accepted and implemented, but -- oh, no, no, no -- apparently not in the great Pacific Northwest. Here, the speed of the lane can vary on the situation or the particular driver or the time of day. Example: I do most of my commuting along Columbia Blvd which, for the most part, is a two-lane boulevard that is frequented by every breed of driver -- the Big Rig, the slow, the reckless. However, because it is, apparently, a more common belief of these diverse breed of drivers that neither lane is slow nor fast, and they go about their business willy-nilly that their beliefs is what they create: lanes that are neither slow nor fast. For one stretch of road, I could be free-sailing down the left lane, when, there on the horizon, is a caravan of big rigs out of place in the left lane... this now makes me switch to the right lane in order to maintain my optimal speed.....until there is someone in the slow lane behaving slowly.... to which then, I must, switch back to the left lane, and zig-zag my way through my commute.
And, in the interest of wrapping this up because I need to go to bed (and Spaz keeps climbing all over me, wanting attention), as much as I am annoyed by SE Portland -- and I am -- due to the quota I have in place that keeps me out of SE Portland, it doesn't bother me unless I'm down there. In fact, probably the West Side is more annoying to me nowadays than SE, purely because I'm out West more often and the traffic is awful out there. However, as I just alluded to moments ago, I can never escape drivers and traffic, and a big part of that are the drivers who drive slow in the left lane, and so I'll give the tie-breaker to Andy and advance him to the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions Championship as the Left Bracket Champion.
7) Aneel Arya vs. 8) Meredith Jaeger
~ Right Bracket Championship ~
Question 1: For Aneel
In 'Drive Angry', Milton (Nic Cage) was able to steal the "God Killer" pistol from Satan, how did he do this?
Aneel: He walks in and just takes the thing. (Correct) And Aneel jumps out to a 1-0 lead.Question 2: For Aneel
While Spaz's breed is not officially known, what breed did I put down on his paperwork when he had to get neutered? It was the saddest morning of my adult life, for the record.
Aneel: I looked high and low for this answer. I went on to ryanhenley.com and combed that, I looked through everything I could see on FB, and I got nothing. So with a wild guess, I'll throw out "Super Cat" (Incorrect, though clever). So, the question goes to Meredith for the steal...
Meredith: No response, as she only had time to answer her set. With no response, no one will get this point and it remains 1-0 favoring Aneel.
Question 3: For Meredith
In ‘Mad Men’, what is Don Draper’s birth name?
Meredith: Dick Whitman (Correct). Meredith ties it up at 1-1.
Question 4: For Meredith
The character of Jack Ryan has appeared in 4 films, portrayed by what 3 actors?
Meredith: One is Harrison Ford! Matt Damon? (Partially correct....) I'm not sure how about this... on the one hand, Meredith did name one of the actors (who happened to be in 2 of the 4 movies), and Matt Damon is sort of like Ben Affleck.... sort of..... but not three actors, and not the three actors that I was looking for.... Hm.... Because Meredith was in class until 10pm, and I support ongoing education, AND she obviously wasn't using the Internet for her answers, so I could give her an unprecedented 0.33 partial credit....but I think we should stick to full points, rather than exploring decimals. If a precedent is going to be set, I would prefer it to be one of fairness (even though, personally, I'd side with Meredith, haha). With just the partially correct answer, I can't give Meredith the point and so the question goes to Aneel, with an opportunity to take the lead....
Aneel: TRICK QUESTION...you didn't narrow 'Jack Ryan' down to just the CIA creation...and even then, there are now 5 films about that guy.
Jack Ryan (Jack Ryan (2013) - Chris Pine
Jack Ryan (The Hunt for Red October (1990) - Alec Baldwin
Jack Ryan (Patriot Games (1992) Clear and Present Danger (1994) - Harrison Ford
Jack Ryan (The Sum of All Fears (1992) - Ben Affleck
Well, I didn't intend it as a trick question, because who knew that there was more than one fictional "Jack Ryan" protagonist? Certainly, not I. And, technically, the Chris Pine portrayal hasn't happened yet, so that shouldn't count. However, Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Affleck are the correct answers, and so Aneel gets the point and takes a 2-1 lead.
With a 2-1 lead and Aneel's question to field, this isn't over quite yet, though!! Meredith still, technically, has a shot at forcing a tie and winning in a tie-breaker......
Question 5: For Aneel
In the ‘Chappelle’s Show’ skit about the Black White Supremacist, how many books has Clayton Bigsby written?
Aneel: 4 books [omitting titles]. ....to secure the win................. (Incorrect!!) And while I searched high and low on YouTube for JUST this part of the comedy sketch -- finding only homemade camera recordings (which, now that I think about it, is a pet peeve of mine, too) -- the Frontline reporter also mistakenly stated that Clayton Bigsby had written 4 books, causing Clayton to correct him by stating that he has written 6 books....that they have only published 4 of them, though. So, with the miss, the question goes back to Meredith.....for the tie...... to force a tie-breaker for the 2013 Right Bracket Championship........
Meredith: No response, due to school. And so, just like that, Aneel wins the 2013 Right Bracket Championship by a final score of 2-1.
And so we have the 2013 May Mayhem Tournament of Champions championship identified with the Left and Right Bracket Champions, respectively, selected and the championship will commence on Friday evening with trivia questions.
-Ryan.
Commissioner
The May Mayhem Tournament of Champions
May Mayhem...where Amazing happens!
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